Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Day 74

It still amazes me how I don't feel much like working... ever. I don't like doing things, unless someone has a gun pointed at my head and is ready to pull the trigger. Case in point: I was sittting around, thinking of everything I needed to do, and not doing anything. Then, I talked to this girl in my office about what she needed from me. She said "I need these documents and I need them by Friday" I went back to my desk and made the phone calls I was procrastinating about.

Why do I not feel like working? Why do I act the sloth? Am I not grateful or something?

Well, as you well know, this is an issue that continues to crop up. I feel like I am making progress though, reading through some of my old posts... man like 6 months ago, I don't know what the heck I was thinking!! Work wise and life wise. Like, I know today I am great. Work is great, I am getting things done, even if I don't really feel like it, and with a tiny bit of sloth. (Thanks for the new word Dave!) One thing I do realize, I hate it when people ask me to do stuff for them. Is that weird or what? Maybe I am meant to be my own boss, my own business someday???? I don't know. Any how, I am great today and look forward to a great evening filled with AA fun!

Peace!

4 comments:

  1. Dear Jonathan, Tell me what you think about this story. Here goes: The first thing my mother in law does when her sons visit is to offer them a drink (alcoholic drink), and then says "why not?" if they say no. Consequently, the sons (who need little encouragement) drink too much. When they try to leave, she says "Stay and have a glass of wine, and chat with me". The sons end up drunk or close to it when they finally leave her house. Well, this encouragement to drink (and drink too much) has gone on for years. Surprise, surprise, one son got a DUI the other day. Now mother in law is completely upset, devastated & depressed, and is going to sell her jewelry in order to pay for son's lawyer, etc. Never once has she said (or probably even thought) "gee, maybe I ought to stop encouraging my sons to drink". I find this whole situation disgusting and I can't believe that this educated, 60-something woman doesn't see the forest because of all those damn trees in the way. I look at it this way: driving drunk is like throwing dice; sooner or later you come up "snake eyes". Of course, in this situation I am not "one of the family" so my opinion is discounted.

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  2. Well, sounds like mother likes to drink, and the sons do too. Drinking to drunkeness and then driving is just not a good idea. Sounds like mom also may be lonely. In my family, my mom loves to drink, and my brother can only stand being around her "mopy attitude" drunk. So they both end up drunk. My brother happy, my mom all dreamy/happy/sad.

    I can't stand it, and avoid those situations altogether.

    As far as whether mom has a problem getting the sons drunk, has a drinking problem, or if the sons have a drinking problem... I can't tell. Usually, the rule of thumb in my book is: If you even have to ask the question, you probably already know the answer.

    Peace

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  3. I am glad to hear that you have removed yourself from that situation. No good can come out of it. I have tried my best to get my other half (one of the sons) out of that situation, but especially during the holidays, mother in law plays on his sympathies to get him over to her home. Ugh! You are right on target with mother in law being lonely. She is married (2nd husband) but does not have a close relationship with him (he is regarded as an outsider like I am). She dotes on her lap dog and makes no effort to cultivate outside interests (she is retired and lives comfortably). She drinks, but not to excess. She is an expert manipulator though, and I am sure that the offer of all the free booze you can drink is an enticement to the son with the DUI. My other half is the type that once he has had that third drink, he will not stop until the barrel runs dry. I have already told him that if he gets a DUI, we are history because I will not put up with all the crap you have to go through associated with that. This may sound cold hearted, but I care about myself enough to not continue a relationship with someone who values booze over me. I give you all the credit in the world for quitting alcohol. There are too many wonderful things in life to enjoy!

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  4. Your posts are truly inspiring. I am very very new to being sober. I'm desperatly trying to find groups or meetings where i can meet more people that are close to my age. I'm 27. Could you please help me out? I've searched all over the internet with no luck! I'm at nellybellymarie@yahoo.com.

    I really really appreciate any help!

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