Today I found out that my little sister has talked my mom into, once again, paying her way to Hollywood CA. This includes paying her rent which appearently is $1,200 a month. My sister, naturally, told my mom that she was going to hitch hike to CA if she did not get what she wanted... which includes the car my mom bought her 6 months ago. She also told my mom she was going to become homeless and live off the streets if my mom did not help her. She also probably employed the guilt trip and every other ploy she has used these last 3 years to weasle money from my mom.
I can not tell you how pissed I am about this. Can you imagine, your own sister, using your mother to pay her own way? Not working, ever, never holding a job, always being supported by your mother? My brother and I both work and do not ask our parents for anything, yet my little sister, who is 23 years old, continues to not work, to do absolutely nothing, and continues to act like my mother owes her something!
To boot, my mom is very caring, and easily manipulated. So it's easy to see how this will never end. Seriously, never. I don't think my mom will ever grow some fucking balls and learn to let her go. She continues to "try" to control my sister, who then turns that against her, demanding money and rent. Of course, this time my sister is "following her destiny, and plans on making MILLIONS of dollars out in Hollywood!"
Ok, call me a pessimist, but you have not EVER held a steady job for more than a month. Yea, your going to make it BIG out there. Geeze... freaking amazing how idiotic my sister is... and mother for supporting her. My sister gives a bad name to hippies everywhere. Seriously.
Which leads me to me. How do you deal with this? A part of me wants to tell my sister how I feel... which is basically becoming the "bad brother" and telling her straight up what I said above, which of course will lead to her hating my guts for the next year. The other part wants to shut up and not say a word, act like I have no clue what's going on. One part wants to tell my mom off, and to not talk to either of them indefinetly. I feel like me not saying anything is enabling. If I just do nothing, is that not like telling both of them it is ok to act like this??? I feel like if I do give my opinion I am breaking with the suggestions of these 12 steps. What should I do? Nothing? Say something? Make a suggestion? I have already made the suggestion to my mom, what I would do in her shoes, and kinda let it go at that. As far as my sister goes, I have not said anything yet... she still includes me in her blog circle, emailing me about how great it is looking for her destiny and all this other BS I find amusing. It's like she is on drugs. I know she had a problem in the past, but I don't think she has ever been a part of our circle.
Any whooo, thanks for letting me share!
I'm not getting involved in THIS one!
ReplyDeletedoes Mom know about Alanon?
ReplyDeleteIts the hardest thing in the world to detach from a child---until I discovered I was really hurting him more than helping--and then it was still so difficult. I kept wanting to be in denial I think, cause it hurt so damn bad to live the reality of the disease.
But you---good for you remaining sober. I know what it was like when I found recovery, I thought everyone else should too. Your sister will maybe get help someday froma complete stranger, not you, not Mom---
love to you