Thursday, November 29, 2007

Second Cousin!

Interesting 12 step work yesterday...

My Aunt called me from Baltimore Maryland, and shared with me that my Second Cousin called his mom, (my Aunt's Cousin), and said that he couldn't stop doing the drugs and needed help!

He is 20 years old and in College right now.

So yea, this is the first time that someone else in my family, has come out with their disease and admitted they needed help! I was so happy, yet sad too, cause I didn't know he had a problem. But doesn't that sound familiar to some of us?!

So I called him up and encouraged him to go to some meetings, and shared with him what works for me. I also said that I'd love to hit a few meetings with him when I get up there in a few weeks for Christmas!

On another note, I am sick... not flu sick, more like cold sick. And that sucks, but I think I am almost through it. It has me down though, kinda depressed, cause I just feel sick, and that is no fun! So I am trying to stay positive, but it is hard, cause I just feel like sleeping all day.

That's what people told me I should do to get better, but it makes me feel lazy and worthless!! Just sharing how I feel... any how, I think I should probably call my sponsor and complain to him, I am sure he will put me in my place! ;)

Today I am grateful!

J

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Enjoy these new experiences!

Thanks for that, Daave... That statement makes so much sense to me today.

I have been running around with family, doing what they generally want to do. It has not been my way or my plan most of the time. I am merely a servent in this case, taking my Dad around, or my cousin today.

I am happy to do so, at one point in my life, this would have been a major stress on me and my drinking ways! I would have been anxious the whole time, and drunk for sure in the evenings after the family stuff.

Today I am grateful!

Jonathan

Monday, November 12, 2007

Dad in town this week!

My Dad recently came into town this week and visited. He was here because my brother had a baby and he wanted to see her! We basically hung out all weekend.

For me this was a very rewarding experiance, as I got to enjoy everyone's company without drinking or drugging! It use to be that I was always anxious and annoyed that I had to socialize with the family... but today I can be thankful that I have a family and make the best of every time we can get together.

Any how, good times and I am happy to be home. My cousin is coming in on Wednesday, so I am going to have to rest up for him as well... since it looks like he will want to see the baby as well! So back up to my brothers on Wednesday!

Today I am grateful for:

My family
My home
My friends
My Country
Our veterans

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Page 40 - A New Pair of Glasses

Found another qoute I think is relavent to my sobriety. (I hope I am not breaking any copyright laws by posting this stuff!!)

From Page 40 in "A New Pair of Glasses" by Chuck C.

"But how do I know whether it's my will or His will? And that's a good question, and I have the simplest answer in the world for that, for me: If it's important to me personally, it's my will. If it is important to me personally, it is an ego satisfaction. If I am praying alright it is not something for me. It's that I might be of some value to you."

You know, it seems often in my sobriety I find myself asking this question... how do I know if what I am doing is God's will or my own? Generally, if I even have to ask this question, I probably already know the answer, usually it's my will because I think when I ask this I am doing something or going in a direction and want to know if it is ok... if this is my purpose. But I ask God for selfish reasons... therefor asking him for direction is actually the selfish act!

Mostly, it has to do with work or school... asking "Hey God, is this what you want me to do, or should I try something else out, go a different direction?" That statement in itself is selfish, and self seeking. As I am asking God wether this is job is ok for ME or if this class is right for ME. I I I I what is best for ME? If the question isn't "hey, what can I do for others that you would have me do?" then I am just living in my own self will.

So yea, hope that makes ome sorta sense. The point is that I am trying more and more to get out of my own will, and do the next right thing. This means not asking for what is best for me, but what is best for others and what I can do to pack more good into the stream of life.

J

Monday, November 5, 2007

Working step 8

From Page 79 in the 12 and 12 (Step 8):

"Some of us, though, tripped over a very different snag. We clung to the claim that when drinking we never hurt anybody but ourselves. Our families didn't suffer, because we always paid the bills and seldom drank at home. Our busines asociates didn't suffer, because we were usually on the job. Our reputations hadn't suffered, because we were certain few knew of our drinking. Those who did would sometimes asure us that, after all, a lively bender was only a good man's fault. What real harm, therefore, had we done? No more, surely, than we could easily mend with a few casual apologies."

Earlier on in sobriety, I believed that I had hurt virtually nobody with my drinking... because I felt that I was a functioning alcoholic. I drank alone, and generally showed for work everyday. That is how I justified my reasoning, I was different than you all, I was a good responsible drunk!

Ha ha! How wrong I was! Even today I must watch out for this trap... thinking I didn't hurt too many people or act as bad or whatever... basically justifying a shorter list of persons I have harmed.

Today I am grateful for:

My kitty cats
My home
My AA friends
My family
Life
God
Sobriety

Sunday, November 4, 2007

From "A new pair of glasses"

Page 25 from A New Pair of Glass by Chuck C.

"So I want us to have a lot of fun this weekend. Don't be too serious. You know, Rule 62. Some people put it on their license plates. Rule 62. It's a good rule. There's a litle green book, and on the front cover it says, "Rule 62". And you open it up, and every page in the book is naked, except the double-truck in the middle. And it says, "don't take yourself so goddamned seriously!" And that's what we want to do here this weekend; have a lot of fun, not get too serious, but realize the problem that we have that we cannot handle on our own. And to come to see totally before this weekend is over that what I can't do, we can do, with the Grace of God."

I love that one... especially the last few words.

I am off to a meeting, going to go get the "we" part.

Peace

Jonathan.

wholly molly

If you can believe it, I am typing this from my blackberry... Totally cool.

Today I am grateful for;

The beautiful weather
My family
My friends
AA
The meetings from this weekend
Sobriety
Being a sober alcoholic.
My cats
My home
My friends
The colts...

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Today I am grateful for...

1) Tampa AA

2) My sponsor

3) Friends in AA

4) Florida weather

5) My family

6) My cats

7) Life... I am so alive!

8) Did I mention AA?

9) The opportunity to go back to school!

10) This gift of sobriety!