Saturday, November 29, 2008

I can dream can't I?

I hate being away from home, I always feel like I am missing out on everything... It's like, say there is a single girl you like. You go away for a week and come back, but lo! She is taken by the time you have returned! Oh man, that sucks. That's kinda how I feel about traveling. I love traveling, but hate missing out on the social opportunities back home in Tampa. I feel like I am missing that one chance to say what is on my mind or that one opportunity in that one place in time that will only come once yet could be missed and gone forever I can dream can't I? I am such a dreamer... ;)

Lovely... dreaming that is.

So... let's dream of a simpler time... in Ireland perhaps!

William Butler Yeats:

I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree,
And a small cabin build there, of clay and wattles made:
Nine bean-rows will I have there, a hive for the honeybee,
And live alone in the bee-loud glade.

And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow,
Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket sings;
There midnight's all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,
And evening full of the linnet's wings.

I will arise and go now, for always night and day
I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore;
While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements grey,
I hear it in the deep heart's core.

And acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today...

It is really. Acceptance of where I am and who I am. I have a goal I am working towards; Medical School. I should not be freaked out by a possible "B" in organic chemistry. I need to accept that good doctors don't always do well in archaic classes that have little to do with medicine.

A friend of mine once said that he knows many great doctors that didn't get an A in organic chemistry... I am thinking that may be me! For a few days there I think I was going into "contingency mode"... thinking of all the possible outcomes of what may happen in the future. Basically, projecting like a typical alcoholic. I am back into acceptance. I went to an AA meeting last night with my step-mom's sister here in California. She is new to the program and has 3 months clean from Methanphenamines.

When I walked into that meeting last night I was just absolutely amazed at how at home I felt. I knew that if and when I ever decide to move somewhere, that I would always have a home and family in these rooms. I didn't know what to expect at the meeting. You know what I found? It was exactly the same. I saw all of the same characters that I usually see. I immediatly could pick out those people I would connect with. I saw friends there. I saw family. I saw that I could be of service here as I could anywhere, and it didn't really matter where I was in the world.

So I got out of my selfish self, my insanity, my self-loathing, my self centeredness, my disease. I got out of it and it felt good. I realized that God is providing and that I am doing the foot work. Life throw's up it's road blocks, and I can keep on going, one step at a time; around each one as long as I keep my hand in my HP's hand. There is nothing to worry about. Life is good. Just reach out and ask for help. Just be there, be present, and accept the way things are.

Today I am grateful and thankful

Jonathan

Friday, November 28, 2008

Jonathan is pissed...

His text messaging was turned off for the last 4 days... so every message I sent I never got a reply, and was like "why isn't anyone responding??".

So yea, if you texted me in the last few days.... I did not recieve it! Sorry about that!

Jonathan

Black Friday!

I just saw on the news that a man was trampled to death at a Walmart in New York. How unfortunate... I don't think I'd like to go that way, run over by a mob of people looking for cheap deals at Wal-Mart! Ha, it's almost funny... yet soo sad too.

Can't think of much to type today. I am in California and have 2 more days here. I look forward to going home. I miss my cats and friends. Still feeling the desire to move away from Tampa, I guess that moment will come soon enough with Graduate School. I think moving will suck. I do not look forward to making new friends and going somewhere new. But, I think, isn't that a good thing too? An opportunity to face our fears and surpass them?? If I stay in fear of moving and never leave to try new things, is that not me living in fear? Noone should live in fear. I just read a cool little book called "How starbucks saved my life". He talks alot about doing whats in your heart, and just going for it. He spent 60 years in this privilaged lifestyle, yet did not find true happiness until he lost everything and found happiness without ever realizing that it could be found, or that his life could ever be profoundly different than what it was before.

Any whoo... rambling.

Gotta hang out with the step-family today and go to the County Fair! Fun Stuff!!!

Jonathan

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Shawshank Redemption

I love that movie by the way. So memorable, such a good story... morally and uplifting. Here are some qoutes that moved me:

Get busy living, or get busy dieing.

Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.

I find I'm so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it is the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain.

Today I am grateful and thankful

Jonathan

Thank You Samuel Adams!

Samuel Adams' Thanksgiving
Another article from the WSJ:

In 1778, a Thanksgiving resolution drafted by [Samuel] Adams was approved by Congress on Nov. 3, setting aside Wednesday, Dec. 30, as a day of public thanksgiving and praise, "It having pleased Almighty God through the Course of the present year, to bestow great and manifold Mercies on the People of these United States."

After the Revolution, Adams, who was eventually elected governor of Massachusetts, maintained the practice of declaring these holidays. In October of 1795, the 73-year-old governor proclaimed Thursday, Nov. 19, as "a day of Public Thanksgiving to God," recommending that prayer be offered that God "would graciously be pleased to put an end to all Tyranny and Usurpation, that the People who are under the Yoke of Oppression, may be made free; and that the Nations who are contending for freedom may still be secured by His Almighty Aid."

A year later, Gov. Adams offered a similar Thanksgiving proclamation, declaring Thursday, Dec. 15, 1796, as "a Day of Public Thanksgiving and Praise to Our Divine Benefactor." He recommended "earnest Supplication to God" that "every Nation and Society of Men may be inspired with the knowledge and feeling of their natural and just rights" and "That Tyranny and Usurpation may everywhere come to an end."

Amen.


I am not sure how many people will actually read that whole thing, but I think it is a nice little article. I read it on the airplane yesterday and thought... "hmmm, I should post that one too!".

I love to read, I love to learn, I love this Country, and I love reading about our history! Are we not the most fortunate people on the planet?? I hope you think so, if you are a citizen of any Western Country... especially the US of A!

On another note, being out in the Mountains in California, I have been doing some thinking! Great, right? I was thinking that it would be really neat to move out west for school. I know, it's crazy right? Why not? Why do we live in Tampa anyways?? Nice weather... I like the people I have met, but why am I still there when there are other places I have always wanted to live in, yet haven't done so yet because I am such a co-dependant ass? I am thinking... yes thinking... Perhaps it is time to cut the bonds and head out into the great wild west... perhaps not. I just love it out here, the mountains specifically... I have always wanted to live near them or in them...

I was just thinking out loud there...

Any how, maybe I am just freaked out by finals coming up... feeling stressed and alone. Self pity was creeping in there, to be honest, yesterday and today. I don't know what it is... I think I feel like a failure and rejected on a couple of different levels. I am attracted to someone I don't think is remotely interested in me, failure to perform to my standards in school... B vs A, and guilty for asking the old Mum for money.

Good thing I have AA and my higher power to get me through it all. You know, I just wanna do the next right thing. I think maybe my expectations are way to high and I am trying to control everything too much... maybe I should stop thinking and go to a meeting! That usually helps... :)

Speak of the Devil, my Step-Aunt has 3 months sober and just asked me to join her to go to a meeting! Fun!

Today I am grateful and thankful!

Jonathan

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving yall... in spirit of the holiday, I am totally gonna plagarize the Wall Street Journal and post their yearly article here... although because it is from a historical document, that's probably not plagarizing anywhoo...

The Desolate Wilderness

Nathaniel Morton describes what he and other Pilgrims saw in 1620.

Here beginneth the chronicle of those memorable circumstances of the year 1620, as recorded by Nathaniel Morton, keeper of the records of Plymouth Colony, based on the account of William Bradford, sometime governor thereof:

So they left that goodly and pleasant city of Leyden, which had been their resting-place for above eleven years, but they knew that they were pilgrims and strangers here below, and looked not much on these things, but lifted up their eyes to Heaven, their dearest country, where God hath prepared for them a city (Heb. XI, 16), and therein quieted their spirits.
When they came to Delfs-Haven they found the ship and all things ready, and such of their friends as could not come with them followed after them, and sundry came from Amsterdam to see them shipt, and to take their leaves of them. One night was spent with little sleep with the most, but with friendly entertainment and Christian discourse, and other real expressions of true Christian love.

The next day they went on board, and their friends with them, where truly doleful was the sight of that sad and mournful parting, to hear what sighs and sobs and prayers did sound amongst them; what tears did gush from every eye, and pithy speeches pierced each other's heart, that sundry of the Dutch strangers that stood on the Key as spectators could not refrain from tears. But the tide (which stays for no man) calling them away, that were thus loath to depart, their Reverend Pastor, falling down on his knees, and they all with him, with watery cheeks commended them with the most fervent prayers unto the Lord and His blessing; and then with mutual embraces and many tears they took their leaves one of another, which proved to be the last leave to many of them.

Being now passed the vast ocean, and a sea of troubles before them in expectations, they had now no friends to welcome them, no inns to entertain or refresh them, no houses, or much less towns, to repair unto to seek for succour; and for the season it was winter, and they that know the winters of the country know them to be sharp and violent, subject to cruel and fierce storms, dangerous to travel to known places, much more to search unknown coasts.

Besides, what could they see but a hideous and desolate wilderness, full of wilde beasts and wilde men? and what multitudes of them there were, they then knew not: for which way soever they turned their eyes (save upward to Heaven) they could have but little solace or content in respect of any outward object; for summer being ended, all things stand in appearance with a weatherbeaten face, and the whole country, full of woods and thickets, represented a wild and savage hew.

If they looked behind them, there was a mighty ocean which they had passed, and was now as a main bar or gulph to separate them from all the civil parts of the world.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Nice...

You guys, ok like... totally.

Awesome.

I had a great day today. I think I may have totally bombed the Organic Chemistry Exam, but besides that... I had a fabulous day! We had an awesome meeting tonight down there at Bayshore Prespaterian Church... I think that's the church....

There was a new comer there tonight, and somehow the meeting was just filled with so much joy and love that half the time everyone was laughing. I mean... some people were trying to be serious, but a few people shared and just took it to a whole new level. The newcomer, at one point got up to walk out, and we had the door locked! Somebody was like "We gotcha now boy!"... Haha! Cool. I got the opportunity to check in with a few good friends... naturally. I get to talk to A-Dog, now that I think about it... sorry about that man, if you are reading this. :)

So life is good... life goes on. I can't express how happy I am right now.... for no appearant reason. I think it has to do with... ah... being sober?! Yes, that's it. Oh yea, and going to meetings.... very good for my health.

Now, I gotta take the dog out for a walk... it's just me and him tonight, the Roomy is out of town on business.

Jonathan

Today I am grateful and thankful...

For... lots of stuff. Seriously...

At this moment though... and this is super cool... I was just thinking of a fun little qoute from an awesome book: DUNE

"Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past me I will turn to see fear's path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

That jumped out at me immediately after reading it... about 2 years ago now! Wow.... anyways, just reposting it!

Good Night!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Gobble Gobble!

Thanksgiving is almost here!

I have an Organic Chemistry Exam tomorrow... oh boy! It's gonna be a blast. I had so much fun studying tonight that I decided to waste an hour making this video... lol. Sorry if I offend anyone in my joking in the credits btw... I am not being serious... more joking... haha.



Man, it is getting late.

It's been a good week. I look forward to the next one.

Not much new to report. I was thinking about stuff and I thought of yet another Poem by Robert Frost... or rather a part of one... here is a smidgen of it...


So was I once myself a swinger of birches.
And so I dream of going back to be.
It's when I'm weary of considerations,
And life is too much like a pathless wood
Where your face burns and tickles with the cobwebs
Broken across it, and one eye is weeping
From a twig's having lashed across it open.
I'd like to get away from earth awhile
And then come back to it and begin over.
May no fate willfully misunderstand me
And half grant what I wish and snatch me away
Not to return. Earth's the right place for love:
I don't know where it's likely to go better.
I'd like to go by climbing a birch tree,
And climb black branches up a snow-white trunk
Toward heaven, till the tree could bear no more,
But dipped its top and set me down again.
That would be good both going and coming back.
One could do worse than be a swinger of birches.

Anywhoo... today I am grateful and thankful

Jonathan

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Almost Thanksgiving...

Almost Thanksgiving...



I totally wanted to hang out some more tonight, because I really enjoyed myself, and I wanted to chat some more with a certain girl. But... a few of the folks were going to watch a band in a bar. I totally would have gone, but had no cash to pay the door dude. But that's not the point. I also don't like bars very much, so I was kinda luke-warm to the idea anyways... you know, I am an alcoholic, and the LAST place I need to be is in a bar trying to fit in. I am sorry I missed out in hanging out, it probably was fun... But still, bar+Jonathan=bad. I will only go so far when trying to talk to a girl, even if she does have a nice ass ;).

Time seems to fly by now, since getting sober, faster and faster... zooming along. I remember this time last year like it was yesterday! It's funny, going to California every year for thanksgiving, it's like a barometer which we can use to measure the years passing by. Last year at this time I was planning to go back to school. I had a roommate, Lindsay, who has since moved out. I was sober then, as I am still sober today. One major difference that I think we can clearly see is that I am happier now than I was back then.

Today my life is packed with all sorts of good things, it seems to keep getting better. Ah... as I leave out quite a bit of dramatic things I'd love to talk about, but can't because to many of my friends read this darn thing... ;)

I could just get really honest, and just put everything out there... couldn't I? Ah, that would be lovely. But no, I think not today. You know, it's about midnight now, which brings something to mind...



How about some Edgar Allen Poe? Yes, how about it...



Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore--
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
"'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door--
Only this and nothing more."







Here is me... in the ghetto right next to Edgar Allen Poe's house in Baltimore... it's actually just the place he stayed right before he died. Anywhoo... fun stuff.

Let's see... honesty. I am selfish in the extreme. I get lonely at times. Sometimes I put all of my self worth into a grade at school. Although I do get lonely and have the occasional bad day, it's very rare a far between, and I have AA to thank. I am a dork. I enjoy hanging out with other dorks. Screw you if you don't like nerds, geeks or dorks. We are cool. My cats are cute, screw you if you don't like cats. I just got a new 5x5x5 rubik's cube... yes, that is super cool, and you suck if you don't think so! I don't know what's up with the attitude tonight ;) don't take it personal.

Well, now my brain hurts, and I have a shit-load of studying to do tomorrow. Time for sleepy sleep. Good night folks, don't do anything I wouldn't do!

Jonathan

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Dow at a 11 and a 1/2 year low!

Awesome! Not really... more like... Fudge!

Thank God I don't need any of the money I have in the stock market... lost half so far this year!

I don't know... I actually don't really care much for what's going on in the market. I was thinking about something else just now, and now I can't seem to think. I talked to someone earlier about something going on with them, and trying to help them, I got myself to thinking!

I don't like thinking too much, it's not a good place for me to be!

Of cats and men...

I think today is going to be the first day I allow my cat, Hoshi, to roam around the house un-attended. She is starting to put more pressure on the leg... I am still worried she may try some jumps which may be to lengthy so I am going to attempt to block off those areas where she may hurt herself. The other cat, Keiko... is being lazy. The dog, Max... is just sleeping like a champ.

I gotta go to lab today... :) Awesome! Not really, but it can be fun at times. Not much else to report. I am hoping for a dry lab in Organic Chemistry. I think that's what he had planned, but am unsure.

Gotta study study study too! Crap, I gotta get off my butt, and go do some work!

Lol,

Today I am grateful and peaceful...

Jonathan

Breaking the dog's anonymity!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Rubik's Revenge...

Man that 4x4x4 rubik's cube is tough! Once I get it down pat I will post a video in high speed showing me completing it! I have done it twice now, but appearently there are a few cases that require rather lengthy algorithoms to solve... it makes my head spin a bit.

Today was a good day. No complaints on the school front... Physics exam on Friday, Organic Chemistry Exam on Monday, Bio Lab quiz tomorrow, and on top of all the classes and stuff, I need to start studying for the MCAT!

Sweeet... plus I'd like to master this darn cube! My cat got her cast off and is currently hopping around on one leg... she is a cutie. I can't think of anything clever to say at the moment... except that I am going to Grass Valley and Nevada City on Wednesday for Thanksgiving out in California. It shall be a blast!


Jonathan

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

301 House Rocks!

Lol, just putting in some tags for more random people to find my blog! Sneeky.... Erin will think it is funny though!

I was just thinking about another one of my favorite poems by Robert Frost:

Robert Frost: The Road Not Taken (1915)

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

You know, I am pretty sure I know what that means to me... two roads meet, both equally the same, in the passing there had been worn just the same. In leaves no step had trodden black! I love that line, oh I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way I doubted if I should ever come back.... I just love typing this! So you choose a road, but what's really cool is that you could choose the road less traveled by, and that could make the difference!

Yes, all ambiguous... but I still like to dream about what different roads in life... like school, work, geographical and social.

I just bought an awesome cool Rubik's Cube tha is 4x4x4 and a 5x5x5... Stuff even Spock would have a hard time with. Ok, random thoughts. Good feelings though, and no depression or loneliness to speak of! So that's a good day right :). Well, actually... I haven't been depressed or lonely since getting sober! Imagine that... working the program and things get better.

Anywhooo... here is another pic!

Jonathan

Today, I am thankful!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

I think...


Wow, so much I'd like to say... but honestly I can't type this out in vague statements open to speculation, that just leaves it way to open for people to figure out what I mean. We need to cut through the crap and do some "straight talk" (lol! John McCain!). Oh wait, that's vague isn't it! Oh well...
That's a picture of me and my sister at Starbucks over the summer! Awesome pic eh?!

I am tired now... maybe I'll just go to sleep.

Jonathan

Friday, November 14, 2008

I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else but you

I am in a fairly good place at the moment. No complaints today. I went and saw the new James Bond movie, Quantum of Solace out in the theaters now! It was very cool. We naturally got there 30 minutes early, yet still everyone and their mother showed up before us.

We got stuck sitting in the front row! Awesome fun! Honestly though, my eyes adjusted to the screen and I enjoyed the movie. Lol, my eyes are having trouble readjusting back down to normal! I feel like they are bulging out of my head slightly. But... I digress.

Here is a picture of my mom enjoying some Greek Coffee while we were in Rhodes over the summer. My sister and I had decided we wanted to trek off into the old city, away from all the tourist traps. We walked for ten minutes down narrow cobble stone streets, where people left there doors and windows wide open to the summer breeze. Dogs slept on the sidewalks and motorbikes were parked outside of homes. Eventually, we came upon a cafe, open to the air with a tree over hanging a little garden. We stopped in and just took in the view for a bit. I thought the cups were super cool, and insisted on my mom posing for the photo. (That involved me saying "look over there!") I left Greece with a feeling that one day I'd like to come back, and stay a while longer. Life just seemed to move to a different beat over there.



Today I am grateful for:

Good Greek Coffee
My mom
My family
My friends
My kitty cats
You for believing in me

Jonathan

Enjoy the light of the day....

Thursday, November 13, 2008

One day at a time

One day at a time. Seems to work for me. Sometimes it is more like one hour at a time, getting through something which I may be "grasping" on to. Today, there was very little grasping, and more acceptance.

Faith without works is dead... I have faith today. But... I also have works. This week I have been very active in the groups, and reaching out to other alcoholics. My sponsor is huge on helping others. I wish, in this respect, I was more like him! I think the seventh step prayer from the big book is applicable here:

"My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen "

Thy will be done... Man, I am just gonna go ahead and qoute the Third Step Prayer from the Big Book of AA!

"God, I offer myself to Thee--to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.
May I do Thy will always!"

The third step prayer to me, means acceptance! Accepting God's plan, not Jonathan's plan! God's plan is for me to do his will, and his way of life. Not mine.

Any how, not really sure why I am qouting the big book today, just wanted to throw thoughs out there for anyone who is looking for them! On another note, how about those Alabama Crimson Tide??! Can I get a Roll Tide? We are finally number one and have a shot for the big one this year. It's about time. I haven't been back to Tuscaloosa in a number of years... I miss that school man.

Soooo, good night my friends! Hope everybody is well, enjoy the light of the day!

Jonathan

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

I am...

I recently realized how the other day, I got down over a B+ on an exam. I feel like if I don't do well (B as opposed to A), then that makes me somehow less than. Well, not consciously anyways... it's all in my head, like underneath... When I don't perform to a set standard, I beat myself up. I think this is very alcoholic of me, and needs to change. Perfectionism... not a good thing! Acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today...

That being said, I thought I'd think of some things that I am:

I am a friend...



I am a brother...

A silly brother...


I am a son...


I am a grandson...

I am a cousin...


I am an Uncle!
I am a loving cat daddy!


I am a dork!


And I just might be your doctor one day!



Any whoo, I just wanted to have fun with some pictures and count the blessings I have today!

Today I am grateful and thankful!

Jonathan





















Monday, November 10, 2008

Robert Frost: God's Garden

A treat for yall! I went to Turkey with my mom and sister recently, here is a pic or two!








Me and sister in Greece, up to no good naturally! Look at those evil smiles!
And a poem by Robert Frost...



God made a beauteous garden
With lovely flowers strown,
But one straight, narrow pathway
That was not overgrown.
And to this beauteous garden
He brought mankind to live,
And said: "To you, my children,
These lovely flowers I give.
Prune ye my vines and fig trees,
With care my flowerets tend,
But keep the pathway open
Your home is at the end."

Then came another master,
Who did not love mankind,
And planted on the pathway
Gold flowers for them to find.
And mankind saw the bright flowers,
That, glitt'ring in the sun,
Quite hid the thorns of av'rice
That poison blood and bone;
And far off many wandered,
And when life's night came on,
They still were seeking gold flowers,
Lost, helpless and alone.

O, cease to heed the glamour
That blinds your foolish eyes,
Look upward to the glitter
Of stars in God's clear skies.
Their ways are pure and harmless
And will not lead astray,
Bid aid your erring footsteps
To keep the narrow way.
And when the sun shines brightly
Tend flowers that God has given
And keep the pathway open
That leads you on to heaven



Going for a swim in Turkey...




















Sunday, November 9, 2008

Kitty Cat

So my cat broke her leg recently :( Here is a nice video for those interested!



Besides that, not much else new to report. I recieved an 87 on my Organic Chemistry exam... that really boiled my blood for a few minutes. My teacher is sorta vague on what he wants to see in the test, so he took off for some stupid stuff. But I digress, I am giving that over to God and letting go. Plus, he is reminding me that I can do better. So I need to do some more studying and move along!

Sobriety is going great. I honestly have no complaints. I have a big group of friends, a couple close friends, a sponsor, and I go to a lot of meetings. Life is challenging at times, and I can get down. Most of the time I am pretty darn serene.

Ok, so I am gonna say it. I think I like someone in the program... messed up I know. She is older than me though, so I am unsure of her interest level. Not sure older girls are much into younger guys... You know, I think I made it kinda clear I was into her... I think... I mean, I did ask her to hang out once or twice. But... I got a fairly luke-warm, so-so response. I am the type of guy who does not waste my time chasing chicks that are not interested in me. So I think I may forget about it. I kinda felt shot down... but it's cool, I am happy being friends. My sponsor says I should be honest and ask her out. But man! Screw that! Haha! If she is sending me let's be friends signals, then I am picking them up and tuning in. I am not an idiot, and naturally wouldn't want to make her feel weird around me in the future. Of course, my sponsor said it's fear and I should face my fear of rejection! Maybe I should. Or maybe girls should pick up on our signals better! And maybe girls will also one day stop dating guys that just aren't into them. And stop dating jerks that just want sex. And maybe pigs will fly, and maybe one day a girl will come along who wants a relationship, just like I do, and we will live happily ever after! :) Lol, Jonathan appearently is feeling rejected... hehe! That's ok though, life is good today. END RANT!

Moving right along... We are totally still having Sunday dinners, Sunday breakfeast, Saturday Dinners, Friday dinners, and starbucks at just about any time of the day. I think that is prettty cool, being able to do all these things in Tampa.

Random stuff, this is more of a journal entry tonight than anything....

Now I am up at school typing the remainder of this post. School is tough. I have lab reports to write, outlines to write, tests to take, quizes to take, and homeword to do. It's like you work hard to get one thing done and bam! More stuff! I feel kinda sorta like that today... I want to go up to Pasco County tomorrow to visit a doctor friend of mine, so I gotta do some extra studying tonight...

My roommate went out of town today, so I get to care for the dog for the next few days as well! Awesome fun! He is a cute dog, I look forward to picking up large pieces of pooh for the next week! The highlight of my day! :)


Today I am thankful and grateful for:

Picking up pooh
My roomy
My family
My friends
My health
AA
And my health again!