I think I'm going crazy.
The constant non-stop studying, the highway out my back window, the no escape because this is Miami and Miami is a zoo, it's just all adding up.
I go from extremes of semi-ok mood to fuck me I want to die moods.
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say "I don't have much balance in my life atm". Sometimes I blame it on the fact that I got into a relationship, sometimes I blame school, sometimes I blame my parents, but ALL of the time it really is just me.
sitting here staring at the computer I just wasted 30 minutes. I got to get back to studying. It really isn't all that bad. Today isn't the worst I've felt... I'm actually being pretty productive. I'd like to say something awesome and memorable... but I can't think of anything!
I restarted my Eve-online account yesterday to check out that game and see how it was after all these years. And yes, it's still awesome and I shouldn't play it... so I won't. I've been kicking butt in chess against various folks on the iphone, yay me. I've also been kicking butt in school.
I guess my biggest concern is: STAYING motivated! I've got the damn boards to study for in 6 months and it's really weighing on me. I'm actually gonna try putting in at least 2-3 hours a DAY for board studying. Let's see if I can keep to my goals!
Today I am thankful and grateful.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Friday, January 15, 2010
Ft. Lauderdale
Well, I just got back from the East coast, visiting an old friend and interviewing at another school. I really enjoyed seeing Guil after what we figure has been nearly 10 years. Not a thing has changed after all those years, aside from of course my not drinking. He looked just the same and acted just the same.
Here is a guy who has stayed in contact with me over all these years, and who has a genuin interest in my well being. I was constantly thanking God this week for having such a good friend in my life. We even went and rented South Park the Movie just like when we use to watch it all the time in high school.
It was really not a bad drive over... only about 4.5 hours. I've been working really hard toward this medical school thing, what ever happens, I am sure it will all work out. You know what I really like though? I like the fact that I am trying. I am giving it my all to do something I believe in and want to do. I think just putting in that effort means more to me than anything else in the world. The things I have accomplished and all the experiences that go with it, stress and all... it is all worth it.
I pity the fool who stays with the status quo because of fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of change, or common complacency.
End rant!
Today I am thankful and grateful
Here is a guy who has stayed in contact with me over all these years, and who has a genuin interest in my well being. I was constantly thanking God this week for having such a good friend in my life. We even went and rented South Park the Movie just like when we use to watch it all the time in high school.
It was really not a bad drive over... only about 4.5 hours. I've been working really hard toward this medical school thing, what ever happens, I am sure it will all work out. You know what I really like though? I like the fact that I am trying. I am giving it my all to do something I believe in and want to do. I think just putting in that effort means more to me than anything else in the world. The things I have accomplished and all the experiences that go with it, stress and all... it is all worth it.
I pity the fool who stays with the status quo because of fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of change, or common complacency.
End rant!
Today I am thankful and grateful
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