So, today is day 2 after a slight relapse. I feel very good today, and even on Sunday I felt alright.... problem is that I drank on Saturday night. I had a pint of whiskey. Funny thing, I did not really enjoy it at all. I drank from 10:00pm - 2:00am... and ordered a pizza. I mean, what a freaking waste of time! I could have gone to sleep and got up early. But didn't. I feel really bad about this, but not so much that it is crippling me. I know I shouldn't drink, I just don't understand how this happened. Today, I am going to get the second step done. I went to the house meeting on Sunday, over at Cliff's. And it was really cool. I felt loved and even shared, of course I didn't volunteeer to share, but was instead called on. I don't think I am going to tell anyone about my relapse.... I prefer to just forget about it... and after this letter, I am soooo forgetting about it. I am going to pick up just like nothing happened and sub-merge myself in AA.
I don't take paxil any more, so I wonder how that effects my anxiety and all that shit... and also my obsession. I wonder if paxil made me more suseptible to drinking.
Mom is spending the night at my place tonight, I have to take her to the airport on Tuesday around 5:00 AM... not looking forward to that. I wonder if it would be out of line for me to tell her to just sleep at the airport??? I need to call my sponsor and ask him about that.
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