K, so I totally have no actual desire to drink, but I find my self day dreaming about getting drunk during the day. People will say something, like "what kind of beer do you drink?" Or make a wise crack about downing a bottle of whiskey, and all of a sudden, I feel that warm fuzzy feeling I use to get when drinking. It's really scary. I know what I need to do to stay sober, and that is to go to a meeting and hang out with the YPG folks. My problem is that I do like getting drunk, like any alcoholic, yet my damn consequences aren't so high... what a hang over in the morning and feeling resentful towards my self for drinking?? Funny thing is that that is bad enough. I really hate slipping, and that alone may keep me sober. It;'s like, read this shit, and just don't drink. I sound like a fool talking to my self rationalizing drinking.
Any how, I am supposed to close today on my condo, and on the new town house. I am a little worried, but not really. I am just kinda like "blah" today. I don't feel like drinking, but it is sooooo scary how fast the obsession hit me last time. I sure do hope we close today. I am terrified of the huge payment, but I am confident I can find a roomy. Not much else to report. I am also scared shitliss of having to do the due diligence on this property I may have gotten under contract. My boss is outta town next week, and he is putting it all on me. Great! Not....