Day 33!

Well, I might as well add a few notes about my progress. So far I have about 33 days of sobriety. Naturally, all of those depressing feelings came back. It's weird, I actually usually only feel truly happy when I am hanging out with other Alcoholics, or when I am at home. When I am at work, I feel unworthy, out of my element, and sometimes unqualified. This makes me feel like I should be working some part time job or something, like when I was in Highschool. But what's really messed up, is I make a lot of money for someone my age... so on one hand, I would be an idiot to quit my job, but on the other, I feel inadequate. From what I have been told by my sponsor, is that I have low self esteem. Duh! Ok, I could have told you that! But it just felt good when he told me that. Sooo, I have been attempting to pray more, and that has gone the same really. I mean, I pray at work, and shut my office door, so that no one sees me doing it, I also pray in my car, and naturally at meetings. Less so at home... My sponsor said I should look for little coincidences that he says on a daily basis, good is working in our lives. I like that thought.
One thing I figured out, is that online video games are not good for my mental health. I need to limit that shit whenever possible. I did just buy a Nintendo game cube and some games that I can't wait to play! I think that may help with my boredom at home sometimes... cause I don't like playing eve-online so much anymore, cause it keeps me up to all hours of the night. I figure I could play some Zelda and get into the story like I use to when I was little. Eve-online is like crack.... soooo addictive.
I read an interesting article on video game addictions the other day, but I know I am far from that. Shit, I think I only enjoyed playing video games while drinking. So that nips that addiction right in the butt.
All in all, I am doing good. Today, I am going to jump on the new bike and ride about 10 miles and then go to the Wednesday night meeting at bayshore. One think I should mention, my Mom said something about Bob might wanting me to come back and work for him. I don't know if that is such a hot idea. She just mentioned it in passing... will just keep that in my mind and see what happens. He'd probably have to pay me $200,000 a year if he wants me to work for him. I may run that by my mom and see what she says.
Peace