Today is day number 135. Yesterday evening I made the mistake of skipping my usual Monday meeting. It was one of those "Geeze I'm tired and I just wanna watch 24, kinda evenings." Well, half way through 24 I realized how bad I felt for missing the meeting, and also realized how I was being a bit of a negative self-beatin-up ass. I think I need to stay away from my home and purposely seek out other people in recovery right after work and in to the evening. If not that, stay busy, work out, do something, anything except sitting around my house from 5 - 9 at night. That just sucks, and will lead me to only one place... depression and isolation.
I also think that I need to learn to be happy with my self. Alot of times I will catch myself saying "you can't do that" or "you aren't capable" or just plain negative thoughts. That needs to stop. Perhaps some positive affirmations and stuff like that would help? I don't know. I have a painting I am working on that should help when I hang it on the wall... very "Enjoy the light of the day" oriented.
Well, regardless, today is a good day.
will I be able to see the painting enjoy the light of the day?
ReplyDeletekeep walking in the sunlight of the spirit---
Good insight on skipping a regular meeting. Not a good idea.
ReplyDeleteTalk to your sponsor about the self stuff.
Not too long ago I realized how nasty I talked to myself. I was like, I wouldn't let anyone talk to me that way, why am I doing it?
ReplyDeleteIt took some practice and I still have to correct myself, readdress myself...I hear me, as my friend talk now.
You are a work in process and soon you will find those negative thoughts not being so loud. It is good that you are recognizing them, next comes applying some action for some remedy.
ReplyDelete24 was awesome wasn't it. Next week tape it and get to your meeting.
ReplyDelete24 was kick ass! I never watched it before mostly cause everyone else watched it and I was too cool for that!
ReplyDelete