Holy crap I am tired

So tired tonight. I was at the pub with Chad and told him I was really feeling up for the poker-smoke filled local pub. I promptly left and went on back to miss's C's house. Eric and I hung out and watched Entourage instead! He is Luke's little brother... otherwise known as... Peanut. Yea, that is because back in the day he was usually the smallest kid on the hockey team. But... he was awesome too. So yea, we hung out and I get to sleep at Lynda's again tonight, in a nice warm bed. In the morning it will probably be death by mass quantities of food... but I am prepared for that.

Tomorrow night I meet Nick's fiance and him for dinner and then it is back home on Wednesday.

Like it says up above... I am freaking tired and need to get up early to do some studying!

Peace out...

Jonathan

Amazing!

How cool is it to have your computer with you when you are on these trips? Awesome cool... that's what.

I find I have time to kill every so often, with nothing to do, and I then find myself at panerra or starbucks leaching off the internet.

Megan has 3 kids! Tracy is still married and just became a cop! Haha, now that is random! I was like "Really?!".. . "Really?" "No way... Tracy?" lol... seriously. Tracy does not look like a cop... totally small body frame. We really had a good lunch and some good reminiscing. I talked to them alot about what it was like for them to stay in Indiana. It seems like they were all about how they are "over" Carmel... and would love to live somewhere else. I think that seems to be the case where ever you go... you know? The grass is greener over there! It seems lots of people from highschool never got through college, and mostly ended up back on the north side of Indianapolis. So I guess I am doing alright for myself... working on a second bachelors degree and then an MD/PhD... heck yea man. Way to go.

I am so glad I have good friends down in Tampa now, guys I can call at a drop of the hat and say hey! Lets hang out!

Linda and I were talking about how some people are totally connected to there parents in an unhealthy manner... like having the parents lingering over the kid's every move. I am so glad that I had the nerve to leave my step-dad's company and cut that damn chord. I use to feel so depressed working for them... living their life and not my own. It feels great to be happy living my life without my parents telling me what to do.

Anywhooo, just bored at the moment. I am sure I could probably go say hey to Linda or maybe just drive around... but for now I am going to surf the web and maybe do some studying.

Peace

Jonathan

Carmel

I miss my house...



Pretty cool though how Google had a better pic than I could take with my cell phone!

Today I am going to see two old acquantences... Two girls I haven't seen in probably 10 years. We are doing lunch. Not sure how I feel about it, but these two girls were the original original crew from like... 9th grade. I hung out with them that year and had a crush on one of them. I think it was my first ever crush. Wait a sec... probably had a crush on both. But any way, they are girls, still friends after all these years, just like Chad and I. Chad is headed to Muncie today, so I am gonna go over and meet them for lunch. Megan said... "just like old times". Haha, not quite. Megan has 2 kids... and Tracy is married. But, it will be like old times in that it's just us three. I have fond memories of those days in ninth grade. Megan was the first girl I got the nerve up to talk to. She was also the first girl I never asked out when I should have. You know, that first chick you were just too scared to get rejected from, so you just avoided the rejection and stayed friends?

Awesome... awesome life lessons.

One thing I always wondered... would I have married someone from highschool if I had stayed? All my friends from here seem to hook up with someone we graduated with... and its random too, people in different groups of friends totally married. I think knowing so many people from highschool, you'd run into them more and randomily have more chances to date due to the ice-breaker "Hey! I went to high school with you! Remember that time when...".

Just saying... Although, I think moving away has its benefits too. I think you get much more growth living away... you are challenged to make new friends and meet new people. I think... we will never know will we, which is better and which is worse. You'd have to go back and live it all over... which we can't do can we?

I had a few cool ideas for a website today. Was thinking of possibly making some sort of help website for chemistry. I had trouble finding anything online for my class, so I though... why not make one myself and help others!

I am still super stoked to get home. I am really enjoying Indiana though. Last night it was poker till midnight at a local pub and then a movie back at Chad's till three in the morning. Just like old times except I am sober! It is interesting... and I find bars completely boring. The poker made it more fun than it would have been. Chad has not changed one bit... especially with the fact that he stays up till 4:00am and smokes cigerettes in his house.

Him and his girl freaking smoked cigs in the room I was sleeping in with the door shut.... I was like... what are you all doing in there. Then I realized they were smoking in there so the rest of the apt didnt smell. They were like "oh, sorry, didn't realize this is where your sleeping". Yea... thanks guys! Haha, its cool. I expect no less from Chad. Just like old times... smoking cigs and keeping my ass awake way to late.

Not sure what we are doing tonight... just trying to stay in the moment and out of my head so I can enjoy these moments while being there for him. (his dad just died)


Welp... thats all for now...

Peace out

Jonathan

Carmel Indiana

Up in Carmel for the weekend... till Wednesday. Nothing else new with me. Spring break is this week. School is great. The more I talk to people about school I feel like a PhD could be in my future instead of the MD. I think I will apply to Medical School regardless... but am really stoked about my back up plan.

I am excited to see some old friends over the next few days. I am staying at Luke's parents place for now.. may stay at Chad's tonight. Should be cool. I saw Nick and his Dad yesterday...

I am also naturally stoked to get home. I think a day or two at the beach is in order. My friend Megan wants to hit the beach when I get back. We may invite some other folks from school...

Today I am grateful and thankful

Jonathan

Days gone by...

Well well. Another weekend has arrived. I believe I shall go to the meeting tonight as I usually do. This school week has been crazy busy, as will next weeks. But the week after that... I am headed north to Indiana. That should be a good for me. The last time I was there, I was still drinking. I look forward to setting a good example of how one can remain sober and have a good time too! I wonder if my friends will notice the difference?

Ah well... The death in the circle will be sad, but hopefully they will find some comfort in my effort to be there.

No grand revelations today. No ruminations, thoughts or ideas. I am naturally still in a good place mentally... as is usually the case. I feel content...

Jonathan

Today I am grateful

A loss...

Many years have passed, but all those memories of days gone by persist in the back of my mind, as if they are images seen through a fine haze. I smile when I think of them... I spent many days and nights at your house. You were as much as a father to me as you were to your own son. In those days of loss of direction, exploration, and youth, I sought refuge day after day. Your house became a second home for me, a place to escape from life's worries, a place where the parents seemed to genuinly care about me, and would level with me, instead of the oh so typical level above... where most parents stay.

Skipping school today? No problem, take a nap on the couch Jonathan. Do you need a blanket? No hockey this morning? How about a round of gulf? I think, the image of countless cigarettes, poker and coca-cola will forever be ingrained in my mind. Let us not forget the good times... all those days and nights. I looked forward to those early morning crossword puzzle sessions at Burger King, drinking coffee and smoking a cigerette... school? Screw that, I will go after lunch. You didn't ask questions...

Chad, Jack, and Jonathan... that was the original crew back then... We were all from seperate families, but were like brothers because of you and the hospitality you provided.

I am sorry I left Indiana. I had to leave for school, and one road lead to a fork which lead to another road... which lead me to where I am today. Where I go from here... we shall see. But knowing how way leads on to way... who knows.

I do miss you. I regret not being able to see you again. The last time I saw you was about 2 years ago. Shortly after your first heart attack and surgery. Like a true American hard-ass, you were smoking a marborol red, just weeks after your near death experience.

I will try my best to live a good life, and to enjoy life as you did, and perhaps one day to do it in style. You were a true man's man. A womenizer, a cigerette smoking, golf playing, american dad.

I won't be there for your funeral this weekend, but will fly up the next week to visit with your wife and son. You will be missed.

Jonathan

Feeling...

Very tired today. I have been extremely busy with school and feel the pressure pushing down! Actually, it's not that bad... but the last two weeks have been all work and no play for me. Adding on top of that baby sitting my brother's child on Saturday shot my favorite night of the week in AA in the foot. So that sucked, but I did enjoy playing with little lil.

I feel like there is nothing more to say.

My sponsor told me I should go to sleep. HALT! HAha, hungry angry lonely tired. TIRED!

My body aches... 2 weeks straight of pure adrenalin working on school, going to meetings, and being fairly social!

I am going to sleep!

Jonathan