Dog shaming

I love my dog, she gives me ample opportunities to dog shame, even let me video tape her while holding the sock.

On Moms and stuff

Get to go visit my mom today, super excited.

She essentially is someone who is reliving what she perceives as a lack of fun growing up by drinking too much, spending too much money, gambling, and relationships.  She perceives all this as being fun, I enjoy it somewhat because I go see her once a month and she tells me all the drama, all the drama, all the BS that she is worried about.

Its usually really idiotic things that she gets worried about.  For instance, she has successfully bought and sold 5 houses in the last 10 years, selling each for less than she bought it!

Did you say LESS?

Yes I did.  You see, she moves not for profit, but because she is uncomfortable in her surroundings.

But why didn't you stop her!?  You ask...

Of course I tried years ago to talk sense into my own mother, but this has been a pervasive patter for the last 20 years.  I suspect now that I'm in the medical field that she has a severe personality disorder.

But she is my mom!  And I do love her.  I love her from a distance.  We have a relationship that is more hands off than on.  More phone calls that house calls... more of never ever being able to ask her for anything, and I mean anything.

I have a baby, a baby!  And my wife's family lives 3,000 miles away.  Do you know who the only family member within 45 min drive is?  That's right, my mom.  You'd think she would be excited to be a grandma and hold babies and stuff, but she isn't and I don't ask her to.  You see, I watched from a distance when my brother had kids and tried to get mom to do normal grandma stuff, like invite her to parties, to birthdays, to babysit etc.

 My mom is probably the most interesting mom you've never met.  I think she should write  book.  Wait, maybe I should write a book, cause I'm fairly certain she doesn't see her craziness.

Anyhow, I look forward to seeing her briefly today for lunch and here's to all those out there who have a mom they gotta keep at a distance lest they get pulled into a dependent/histrionic/narcissistic personality nightmare!

Today I am grateful for my mom!

Continuing on...

From the time I get out of my car every morning to when I get into the office ~ 15 minutes or so, I have ample time to get into my head and think about the future and the past, all the awful things that could or could not happen.


If you are in recovery or some other self help program, you've probably heard that this is not a good thing to do!  As a matter of fact, all the stuff I was thinking about is no longer in my head, and it was all silly things. 


Like the following:


I should have said this to them
I should have wrote this note not that one
I should have done this not that
I'm sure someone is going to call me about this or that
What am I going to do about this on Monday
What about that, what about this.
Blah blah blah.




I actually have no idea what I was thinking as I was walking, the point is that none of it was useful and none of stuck.  All it did was get me into a bad mood which is probably why my wife and others think I tend to be more of a negative nancy at time depending on the day.


So I thought, how do you get into a good mood and live in the present?  Well, I already know that answer because I have been at this a good long while.


I remember when I was unemployed, oh the fun I had.  Yea I had no money, no job, no girl, no car, and a shitty apartment...  But what I did have was excellent peace of mind.


I use to read a lot of Buddhist stuff, which I should probably get back into practicing, like mindful walking. 


Mindful walking is an amazing tool you can use when just walking to work.


Here is a link.


Try it out, I know I need to do more of this.

God's Garden

Because Robert Frost is awesome:


Gods Garden by Robert Frost


God made a beatous garden
With lovely flowers strown,
But one straight, narrow pathway
That was not overgrown.
And to this beauteous garden
He brought mankind to live,
And said: 'To you, my children,
These lovely flowers I give.
Prune ye my vines and fig trees,
With care my flowerets tend,
But keep the pathway open
Your home is at the end.'

Then came another master,
Who did not love mankind,
And planted on the pathway
Gold flowers for them to find.
And mankind saw the bright flowers,
That, glitt'ring in the sun,
Quite hid the thorns of av'rice
That poison blood and bone;
And far off many wandered,
And when life's night came on,
They still were seeking gold flowers,
Lost, helpless and alone.


O, cease to heed the glamour
That blinds your foolish eyes,
Look upward to the glitter
Of stars in God's clear skies.
Their ways are pure and harmless
And will not lead astray,
Bid aid your erring footsteps
To keep the narrow way.
And when the sun shines brightly
Tend flowers that God has given
And keep the pathway open
That leads you on to heaven


This is one of those poems that really makes me just get into the present.


Peace...

The war against doctors

So, my sister posted something on facebook that made me smile this morning. 




I'm not going to give her the pleasure of linking to it, however it was one of those: "Click here to see how much your doctor is being paid by pharm companies" type websites.




Now, I don't actually get paid by any pharm company, in fact... I make a salary which is paid to me from the hospital.  Now, sure I'm sure some doctors make money from pharm companies, but I certainly don't. 




I was thinking I should post something in response to my sister.  Since she is a waitress and apparently an expert on M.D.s and Pharm companies, as well as an expert in multiple fields of medicine I figure she would get the point if I posted something like this:




"Click here to see how your waiter and waitresses make money off of evil food supplier companies and unassuming innocent customers who eat their evil wares."




Is that subtle enough?  I dunno.  I'm assuming my sister has some deep seated issues that even I can help her with as she literally attacks my profession daily.  From her anti-vaccine rants to the evil-doctor rants its hard to take it personally. 




Ah, I suppose I do take it personally.  But at least I know I do and have some insight into my crazy thoughts.




Sorry for the rant,




Maybe you can relate... maybe not.




Peace


Today, I am grateful for my baby, my wife, my job, my damn dogs, my cute cats, and all the other stuff.

Two Roads Diverged

The Road Not Taken

By Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I —
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Mornings with Mommy and son

Did I mention I have a son?

How cool is that.  He is a couple months old now, he smiles, he cries, he shits, and he vomits all over the place.

Looking back now I didn't really know what to expect about being a father.  I thought maybe it would be  ground breaking, like I wouldn't suddenly be this awesome dad, husband, and person.  Somehow becoming a dad was going to be a life changing experience.

You know how all over the internet and book stores you see people posting about how you won't know what it's like being a parent until you do it... you won't understand those sleepless nights... you won't appreciate all the free time you had before... you just don't get it cause you don't have a kid yet.
You know what I'm talking about, right?

My siblings and cousins use to hold the fact that they were parents over me, like some sort of all powerful trophy "I'm better than you".

I'd say that having a kid basically did that one thing.  Now other parents can't look at you and be like - oh you don't know what it's like.  Cause yes I do know what it's like, and let me tell you parents, I disagree with your assessment on being a parent.

I think being a parent is pretty much exactly how I thought it would be.  Hard sometimes, but not ground breaking, and no my wife and I do not need a trophy nor do we need a cookie.

Being a parent is about as easy as this: being responsible.  Shit, I mean, people with 5% of the responsibility of my wife and I are able to be parents, why the hell couldn't we do it?  I'm already trying to knock her up again, but she says it's too much too fast.  She's probably right.  Are life does revolve around the little guy now, and things are harder, we don't get to do all the fun stuff like going to movies, but we still eat out all the time and do pretty much everything else we use to do.  We just lug the screaming baby around with us.  Easy as pie.

I would mention this... omg single people, I do not know how any single mom can have a baby.  The only way, I imagine, is with help.  I mean wow... i just can't wrap my mind around doing this on your own.  Two working parents is doable, that's what we are... but take away one of us and man that shit doesn't seem possible.

Ok, sorry for the rambling post.

Peace

J