Three Years Sober soon!

I will have three years on September 3rd! Hurray! My roommate was like "I thought it was odd you go to so many meetings having soo much time, like I thought you'd go to less meetings as you have more time!" Silly little normie, they don't quite understand do they! lol

Got back from my cruise in Baltics... very nice. Lots of fun. Met lots of people, and facebooked them all. Some are already planning a Las Vegas weekend in the near future! I can't explain how much fun I had, once again. It seems like I have had more fun sober on cruise ships than I ever did in the past being drunk on cruises. If they go to Vegas, I will probably go as well if the flights are cheap.

Back to reality now. I have lots of secondary applications to fill out for med school. It's hard to stay motivated because I caught ANOTHER cold. Anywhooo... good to be alive!

Jonathan

2 Years and 11 months sober...

I can't tell you how grateful I am that some of you blog and continue to blog. Looking back at my 6 posts over the last 5 months, it is appearent that I am not good at blogging. But it does help me occassionally to type this stuff out which goes on between my head.

I leave for Europ in a few days, and will be gone for about 2 weeks. I am nervous about that, sorta, and the fact that I have to leave my kitty cats. I also feel slightly stressed about what comes next in the application process, which is filling out all the secondary applications and writing a bunch of essays. I think my plan is to take all the essay questions and write out my responses while on the cruise and airplane. What better time is there, ya know? I know, I know, I should enjoy the cruise and relax... well, I find it relaxing to get things done and out of the way, and as Medical School is important to me, I will find it very relaxing to get these applications done before the next semester starts in September.

I will miss my friends as well, and hope that they don't miss me too much. Not that I am really all that important. :) My life is really great today. I hope to only make more meaningful relationships in the future, and to discover a deeper love for life and others as I trudge the happy road to the best years of my life.

Jonathan

Pivot

Just took the MCAT. I do not want to dwell on it, and such is the reason for my post today. This is the last I plan on mentioning it until I get my scores (1 month!). I feel that I did well on it, but naturally I am in my mind obsessing over questions, second guessing, and even confirming wrong answer choices that I made! This is classic pre-med behavior... and classic alcoholic behavior too! So... I hid all my study material, and am eliminating all possible reminders of the test. Hopefully not too many folks will ask how I did or what not, cause it makes me think about it!

When doubts creep in I shall remember:

To pivot away from the bar and towards the here and now. Turn over all the doubts and fears and live in the present. I felt really good and confident while I took the exam. I will get a good score!

End of story. Check back in a month and we shall see how I did!

Jonathan

I feel...

Slightly stressed.

With so much going on upstairs... I made a list to get it all off of my mind and am now gonna do something about it. But, naturally I am not a hundred percent A.O.K., I need to let go of my expectations with regard to medical school. I feel some fear creeping in... "Im not good enough" "not doing enough" "not trying hard enough" etc....

I think I'd like to take a break today from the world, and maybe go see a movie by my self here in the next few hours.... perhaps I will. Any whoo, that's what is going on with me today. I think there is some emotional hangover from the family attempting to include me in their drama yesterday. Never a good thing....

Today I am grateful to be sober!

Peace!

Jonathan

MCAT study days...

And so begins the month long ordeal we shall come to know as... MCAT hell! Ha ha ha! Just kidding, it is not really that bad... or is it? I just got my OOficial guide to the MCAT from the AAMC. Basically only 400 pages of pure MCAT knowledge. This little guide I could easily complete in one day, if that tells you anything about the amount of reading and problems I do daily. I have all these books that are literally about half a foot thick when added up together. They encompass my soul.

So I got done with Biochemistry the other day. I ended up getting an AB, which is a 3.5 out of 4 on the 4 point scale. Appearently our school does not do A- or B+, so the AB is like in-between them. Which is fine by me... I am totally cool with the AB. It was by far the hardest class I have ever taken and completed in 6 weeks. Jack and I had the highest grades in the class. This one guy who went to school in Georgia and was here for the summer, TOTALLY failed the class (who by the way acted like he was soooo smart on account he went to an ivy league school). The dude was always talking about how his school was sooooooooooo much harder then normal schools. Appearently it was hard to him because he was a moron, obviously.

The guy from USF did about the same as the guy from Georgia. Except the guy from USF said USF's classes were a total joke compared to our classes at UT. The girl from UF got a B and the girl from UT got a C. So I guess it really doesn't matter where you go to school, IMHO. It's what you make of it and if you can handle the material...

End Rant

I am going to go on amazon right now and buy about 10 different fiction books that I need to add to my library. Basically all sci/fi or fantasy type books which are part of series that I have been reading... I am about done with the 7th book in the Sword of Truth series and need the next one asap! Any whoooo... good to be alive today ya?

Peace...

Jonathan

What I would do...

Oh what I would do. I would do anything to have normal lower extremities which do not hamper my attempts at running. I can go for about a mile and half and then my legs just hurt too much. I blame my lower portion of my legs... that bone below the knees...

I feel so good after a good run, yet its not really a good run! I have to go slow cause my legs can't take the pounding they use to... I go slow but the heart still races to some extent and I feel like a million dollars when I look up at the trees reflecting the lamp light... with darkness surrounding... and music filling my mind... such a good feeling. Every thing becomes clearer...

So... a good day. Let me tell you about it. I woke up at 7:30am, went to a local church and helped feed the homeless until 10:30am. Then I went to the book store and studied until 12:30. Then I went to the gym and lifted weights until 1:30ish, I called my dad in-route and said "happy fathers day". I then went to subway and ate until 2:00 at which point I went to Starbucks and resumed studying... until 4:00, when I went to the grocery, and bought 30 eggs and scrapple. I had about 9 people over for dinner at 5:00pm, we cooked out and had break feast for dinner, and then watched a movie at 6:30pm until l 8:30...

Everybody left, and I went for a run for about a half hour... covered 3 miles and just chilled out... took in the evening and experienced the thrill of my heart racing... I do like that...

Now I am here... and will probably do some studying... maybe an hour of it, and then I am off to bed. The whole point is... I had such a full day and am sober!

Good times...

Jonathan

Hmmm...

Well now, been a few weeks since my last post. I have been super busy with school as of late and am feeling quite bogged down with my studies. I have about a month and a half until I have to take the MCAT and about 2 weeks until biochemistry is over.

I am handling it quite well. I have to surrender often, throw up my hands and say "I can't do it! Not now, go relax... let it go!" Haha... it is good, really. I guess I am sorta concerned about the MCAT... but am sure it will alright. People seem to really have this idea that I am really smart and am going to blow it out of the water. My one professor thinks I am gonna score high enough that he suggests I apply to the top 20 medical schools... ya... hmmm... lets hold off on that and just see how I do eh!?

Any whooo... tired. Life is good today, my cats are beautiful, I have a nice roomy, sobriety is AWESOME, and there is nothing to complain about.

Much love

Jonathan