And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today!

I know this is cheezy but... I need to write this down. There is a certain someone in my life who I wish would do things my way, to love me the way I want, to have friends that I approve of, to have their life together so that I feel good about it, to do everything my way, for me... selfishly everything for me. I know that when I try to control things in my mind... usually it stays up there, and it's like a hampster wheel... noone knows that I am disturbed (accept my sponsor of course, and whomever I call about it), and of course I know not to try to actually change the person, but I feel these feelings and I just wish they would change. But they won't, and me wishing they would, alone is a problem. Because that is me deluding myself into thinking that somehow my wishing and dreaming will work! But it won't... and so I suffer for a few minutes or hours, until I let it go and wait until the next time I have to talk to or see this person! But I don't want these negative feelings, and so I must do a better job of accepting it as a part of God's plan.

So, from the Big Book of AA, from me to me:

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."

Today I am grateful and thankful for...

My mom
My family
My cats
My friends
AA
And the big book
And everything else
And having been born in the United States

1 year and 9 months!

Been a little while since my last post... but basically all is well.

I have started back up with the summer school, and am on track to apply to Med-School next summer. I am taking this General Chemistry class that is rediculously easy... so it's a struggle to stay awake during the lecture, but kinda fun in a way... especially the lab.

Anywhoo, lately I have been having dinner at my house every Sunday with a huge group of friends! I am telling ya, it's just awesome. Today I think I had 5 different people call me to ask me to hang with them in the evening, turns out that it was one of our friend's Birthday. We had sushi up there off Dale Mabry Highway... Ok, now I am rambling!

School is good, life is good... no worries really. Oh! The only thing that has been bugging me lately is my mom. Is that weird? The only thing in my entire life that I ALLOW to impact my emotional well being, is the way my mom has been behaving. She just will not act the way I want her to. <--- Ha! Funny, that I would write something like that eh? I know, detach, detach, you can't change anybody, place or thing... Acceptance is the answer...

Just feels good to put it out here, ya know?

Today I am grateful

Jonathan

Summer is getting closer!

Er.. well it feels like it is already here tbh! It's freaking gorgeous out! Let's see here... not much to really report. I am going to New York City in a few days for a quick vacation! I have never been and this is the first time I have gone somewhere alone on a trip, so I am stoked!

I haven't exactly figured out what I will be doing, but I have some ideas of what to see and how it's all gonna go down. I have a place to stay and it's near the subway, so I figure that's about all I need! I am bringing my tennis shoes for all the walking I will be doing!

Sobriety is still number one though, I have been hitting some new meetings lately to see what that's like... honestly, I still like my regular meetings better, but my sponsor says it is good to try new meetings... so he must know what he's talking about right?

Still have uber amounts of friends in the program, and we all talk quite a bit, a few of them have found my blog so I may have to be careful in the future what I say!

Anyhow, life is good today!

Jonathan

Today I am grateful for...

My cats
My home
My friend
My mom
My dad
My brother and sister, and niece and the rest of the family
Everything
Just damn happy at the moment
That's ok too isn't it?

Howdy!

Soo!

About a year and 8 months sober baby! What's new with me? Not much, I am in school and doing well! I have all straight A's at the moment, but we are in finals week, so I have been studying like a maniac!

My teachers all pretty much love me, one of them posted my essay online and told the whole class to read it as an example of what he wants them to do... another teacher asked me to read my paper in front of the class! So much for that fear of public speacking! God will do what we can not do for ourselves! Er... thats what my sponsor said!

Cool, so, every Sunday night, we have been having dinner at my house!! It has been super awesome. I took pictures and stuff of everyone eating, so I hope to put those up here shortly!

Just wanted to check in with everyone!

Jonathan