Hey folks!
Yes, I am still sober!
So what is new with me? Nothing much... seems to be a common thing lately. So let's catch up... here is what's happening with me.. or happened anyways. I'd like to get back into blogging. So here goes my story since my last post:
I quit the job 3 months ago, and allowed my self to be pulled into another job, helping a friend with his lawn care service..Unfortunately, I agreed to help out this person for 40 hours a week for many weeks, with minimal pay. I say that, because it seems like I get the thought in my head that I am going to do something (go to school) and then I feel bad about letting someone down (my friend who relied on me for his lawn care service, and only asked me because he tends to be in fear about hiring people he doesn't know), and I end up not doing what I wanted to do because I get preoccupied doing the other thing.
KK, long paragraph and probably confusing... but the gist of it is that I missed the school sign up deadlines for this fall, and the lawn care thing started to taper off as the season turned to winter... so now I am back to unemployed, and no school.
Don't get me wrong. I am totally grateful for the lawn care experience, I had fun, it was a great workout, and I now have a huge respect for the type of work my friend does... hell I could even do my own lawn care business if I wanted to... maybe when I retire, today I have some dreams I'd like to try out first!
That dream, which still hasn't changed, was to go back to school! So, I signed up yesterday, and today I am going in to talk to a councilor about the classes and all that jazz. Funny thing, it seems I keep getting side tracked by people asking me to help them out in this business or that, my friend J. called this morning and wanted me to help him with his business... the answer for him is no, because this Alcoholic is done doing other people's will.
I think I am a bit codependent... it seems I want to please everyone, but forget about what it is I want....
And that brings me to another topic, how do I know when what I want is what god wants?
That is my question for you today, and any thoughts would be appreciated... I have the chance to go to school again, yet am scared to take the plunge and worried one day I will wake up and God will say "Wrong again!".
LOL!
Fun stuff.
Jonathan
Prayer.
ReplyDeleteTalk to your sponsor.
Consult with your support group.
Read a book about having boundaries.
Go to Al-Anon.
JUST DO IT and figure it out on the way.
ReplyDeleteYou cant figure it out by sitting on the sidelines. Jump in and see what happens. Cross that bridge when you get to it. not before. do the next right thing even though you don't know the outcome.
but no more fannying around! Go to ANY LENGTHS to sort your OWN life out. stop caretaking everybody else. Its FAR too wimpy. Learn to say NO.
Nice to see you posting J!
I work AND study so it is possible to do both. shift work makes that possible. Weekend work. Whatever. It doesnt always HAVE to be either/or ypu know...