In the book of Alcoholics Anonymous it says on page 76 (in my 4th edition version):
"Now we need more action, without which we find that "Faith without works is dead". Lets look at Steps Eight and Nine. We have a list of all persons we have harmed and to whom we are willing to make amends. We made it when we took inventory. We subjected ourselves to a drastic self-appraisal. Now we go out to our fellows and repair the damage done in the past. We atempt to sweep away the debris which has accumulated out of our effort to live on self-will and run the show ourselves. If we haven't the will to do this we ask until it comes. Remember it was agreed at the beginning we would go to any lengths for victory over alcohol."
This is the step I am on... and I must admit I am resting on my laurels. My sponsor wants me to make a list of all the people I have harmed in the past, yet I seem to notbe finding the time to do so in all of my unemployed glory.
I go to meetings, sometimes 2 a day, generally 5 - 7 a week. This has been the case from the very beginning, and am very happy going to meetings. For me, going to meetings, hanging out with AA people, having dinner with sober friends, and service work are all the corner stone of my sobriety.
Working the steps is and has been important to my sobriety, as it should be. I have been told that the real growth comes from working these steps, every day of our lives. I believe that, and try my very best to apply the steps to my real world problems. So when it comes to working them with my sponsor and getting through the initial 12 steps for the first time, I seem to get hung up on the big ones, steps 4 and 5, and steps 8 and 9.
Fear, sloth, self importance... I think these character defects are hampering my progress. So... I should probably work step 7 harder, as I go through these next few steps:
"I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulnes to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding."
So there we have it. I shall also pray for the willingness to be willing, and get off my butt and work these steps!
My sobriety depends on it.
Jonathan
God will not do for me what I can do for myself.
ReplyDeleteIt's all about action.
(wisdom from my sponsor)
"It is the busiest man who has time to spare"
ReplyDeleteUnemployment breeds inertia and feelings of self doubt. You would be far better off working while you ponder this stuff. Being employed is MUCH easier than being unemployed. I get a LOT more done when I have a TON of stuff to do. i value my time FAR less when I have LOADS of it..