Today is my birthday! Hurray! I get to study... alot, on my birthday! But, I will make time for a meeting and some fellowshiping with friends!
Awesome!
Jonathan
Friday, February 6, 2009
Thursday, February 5, 2009
LoL
Haha, loved that last post of mine... Just read it again and it made realize HOW MUCH that show rocks!!!! Argh!
Hehe...
Ok, chill-ax Jonathan... take a deep breath.
Ok. I need to tell you guys something super important about me. So LISTEN UP! This is something I have really been meaning to get off my chest lately, and I don't want to tell any of my friends cause it is kinda personal.
I just wanted to tell you that I am happy!
Yeup. That's it, that is the big secret. Not just today. Not just now. I am happy most of the time. Its like a content, calm, serenity. I smile and enjoy my alone time. I also smile when I am with others. This is genuine... and I just wanted to let you guys know that. Let the WORLD know! Well... not the whole world, just Dave and the other fellow bloggers who may or may not actually read my post!
Well, now that the secret is out, I should mention that occasionaly clouds can gather, and the mood temporarily dips into a shadow. Those are fewer and fewer and farther and farther between. I should mention that everything is temporary, and everything that once was and is will pass on. In accepting that everything changes, accepting life on life terms, we can find happiness!
Jonathan
Hehe...
Ok, chill-ax Jonathan... take a deep breath.
Ok. I need to tell you guys something super important about me. So LISTEN UP! This is something I have really been meaning to get off my chest lately, and I don't want to tell any of my friends cause it is kinda personal.
I just wanted to tell you that I am happy!
Yeup. That's it, that is the big secret. Not just today. Not just now. I am happy most of the time. Its like a content, calm, serenity. I smile and enjoy my alone time. I also smile when I am with others. This is genuine... and I just wanted to let you guys know that. Let the WORLD know! Well... not the whole world, just Dave and the other fellow bloggers who may or may not actually read my post!
Well, now that the secret is out, I should mention that occasionaly clouds can gather, and the mood temporarily dips into a shadow. Those are fewer and fewer and farther and farther between. I should mention that everything is temporary, and everything that once was and is will pass on. In accepting that everything changes, accepting life on life terms, we can find happiness!
Jonathan
Sunday, February 1, 2009
BSG Battlestar Galactica!
OMG OMG OMG~!
I love that damn show! THE BEST show ever on tv. The absolute best. No joke, best ever... If you have not watched it, get your ass to the computer and watch the first couple episodes... I just watched the latest episode... man! I am just sooo freaking stoked with the story line. Character development, freaking drama, death, life, mystery, and espionage!! Argh! I can't stand it! It soooo awesome!
LOL
Just excited about it...
Today I am having a super bowl gathering at my house, could be upwards of 15 to 20 people. Nice for a last minute gig eh? Before, when I was drinking, I had no friends. Even after just stopping drinking, like in the first six months, I was fairly isolated. Today I am a social butterfly and I freaking love it.
Happy to be sober one more day at a time... every day.
Enjoy the light of the day.
Jonathan
I love that damn show! THE BEST show ever on tv. The absolute best. No joke, best ever... If you have not watched it, get your ass to the computer and watch the first couple episodes... I just watched the latest episode... man! I am just sooo freaking stoked with the story line. Character development, freaking drama, death, life, mystery, and espionage!! Argh! I can't stand it! It soooo awesome!
LOL
Just excited about it...
Today I am having a super bowl gathering at my house, could be upwards of 15 to 20 people. Nice for a last minute gig eh? Before, when I was drinking, I had no friends. Even after just stopping drinking, like in the first six months, I was fairly isolated. Today I am a social butterfly and I freaking love it.
Happy to be sober one more day at a time... every day.
Enjoy the light of the day.
Jonathan
Friday, January 30, 2009
Super Bowl
The super bowl is this weekend!!!! I am excited! I think I am having people over on Sunday!
Jonathan
Jonathan
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Is happy...
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Step 1
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageble.
For me, I understood that I was powerless over alcohol. It had a grip over me like nothing else. It was an obsession of the mind. Clearly, the first part of step one was obvious to me on some small level, even if I was in denial.
It was the second part of the first step that I found diffulcult to accept, and to this day have to be wary of thinking my life is somehow manageable by me on my own. When I first got sober, I thought maybe self medicating would help. Specifically, I turned to tabacco products and had a doctor prescribe some anti-anxiety/anti-depressents. This was me saying to the world "My life is manageble, see look at me manage! I know what is best for me!". But low and behold... I know not. I am an alcoholic. I look back on it, and realize that me trying to handle things, me looking to doctors to cure my anxiety, looking to tabaco to ease my nerves, looking to nyquil to help me sleep... all these things were huge glaring signs of my life being unmanageble.
People sometimes can't sleep. People get anxious. People have nerves. We have feelings. No drug can fix that. No alcoholic bevarage will change it. I needed to accept this. I had to be completely ready to live with myself as I am and completely accepting of who I was to get by this step. I needed a sponsor to point me in the right direction. Stop looking for the solution and accept that a spiritual life is the answer.
So I got one. I got a sponsor I hate to take direction from. I can't stand calling him. I still can't stand calling him. You know why? He calls me out on my shit... ALL the time. 3 years later and he still finds all the little things I miss. I miss shit because I am an alcoholic. I stick with my sponsor because he takes me through the steps and advises me on spiritual matters. He is sober, and I respect him for who he is. Very geniune.
Anyhow, I am off on a tangent I guess... but, point is that I am powerless and my life is generally unmanageble if I am trying to run the show. I know this. I know it still can be unmanageble. I know I need help. Nothing has changed. I still go to the same number of meetings weekly. I still have the same sponsor. I call him. I call others. Stick with the winners. Try to help someone.
Peace
Jonathan
For me, I understood that I was powerless over alcohol. It had a grip over me like nothing else. It was an obsession of the mind. Clearly, the first part of step one was obvious to me on some small level, even if I was in denial.
It was the second part of the first step that I found diffulcult to accept, and to this day have to be wary of thinking my life is somehow manageable by me on my own. When I first got sober, I thought maybe self medicating would help. Specifically, I turned to tabacco products and had a doctor prescribe some anti-anxiety/anti-depressents. This was me saying to the world "My life is manageble, see look at me manage! I know what is best for me!". But low and behold... I know not. I am an alcoholic. I look back on it, and realize that me trying to handle things, me looking to doctors to cure my anxiety, looking to tabaco to ease my nerves, looking to nyquil to help me sleep... all these things were huge glaring signs of my life being unmanageble.
People sometimes can't sleep. People get anxious. People have nerves. We have feelings. No drug can fix that. No alcoholic bevarage will change it. I needed to accept this. I had to be completely ready to live with myself as I am and completely accepting of who I was to get by this step. I needed a sponsor to point me in the right direction. Stop looking for the solution and accept that a spiritual life is the answer.
So I got one. I got a sponsor I hate to take direction from. I can't stand calling him. I still can't stand calling him. You know why? He calls me out on my shit... ALL the time. 3 years later and he still finds all the little things I miss. I miss shit because I am an alcoholic. I stick with my sponsor because he takes me through the steps and advises me on spiritual matters. He is sober, and I respect him for who he is. Very geniune.
Anyhow, I am off on a tangent I guess... but, point is that I am powerless and my life is generally unmanageble if I am trying to run the show. I know this. I know it still can be unmanageble. I know I need help. Nothing has changed. I still go to the same number of meetings weekly. I still have the same sponsor. I call him. I call others. Stick with the winners. Try to help someone.
Peace
Jonathan
Tacos...
Random.
So I was just thinking about what in the world to write about. Hmm.. How about what is going on with me. I like school, alot. Enough in fact, to think perhaps I should go for a PhD instead of MD, or both. Any how, it is on my mind. Not stressing over it, just an idea which may or may not unfold.
Yea... at a lost for things to write. I am sorry. No drama in my life. Shit.. even crazy thinking is not present. Well. I am off to class. There are some things bugging me when it comes to other people's behavior. I need alanon for that. Anywhoo... life is good. There are no drugs giving me false serenity today!
Jonathan
So I was just thinking about what in the world to write about. Hmm.. How about what is going on with me. I like school, alot. Enough in fact, to think perhaps I should go for a PhD instead of MD, or both. Any how, it is on my mind. Not stressing over it, just an idea which may or may not unfold.
Yea... at a lost for things to write. I am sorry. No drama in my life. Shit.. even crazy thinking is not present. Well. I am off to class. There are some things bugging me when it comes to other people's behavior. I need alanon for that. Anywhoo... life is good. There are no drugs giving me false serenity today!
Jonathan
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