Day Numero 2!!!

Day number two.
I am simply trying to not think and just be. My emotional state today is kinda blah. I have a meeting at 7:00 pm tonight, and afterwards like 30 people go out to eat. I am looking forward to it. Although I usually don't eat with them, I think tonight I will do my best to hold off on eating until they do... should probably make sure I sit at a small table to ensure proper service... oh well. Trying to live in the now. It is hard. Last night, Rod G said something to me that really struck a bell in my head. He told me that I am the kind of person who really worries about what others think of me. I was like "huh, never thought of that!" And then I realized that he was sooo right. One of my defects of character is that I really am paranoid how I look to others. It is why I am unhappy at work, why I am scared to call people, why I only like certain meetings, why I only like eating at certain places. It's so funny but true. Part of my problem is that I really want everyone to respect me, and yet I do nothing to gain that respect. I just need to learn to be humble... be humble allll day long.
Well, I am having a blah day, so hopefully I am not to negative here. Thought I would atleast give an update. I picked up a white chip last night, and I have to pick one up all week this week! Yay! Just trying to hang on and not think to much... that always gets me into trouble.

Peace...