Day number 6!!!!!

Day number 6! And seriously, I am not lying to you or my self.

There are so many things going on in my head right now, I think I may lose it!! Most of it has to do with work. I work in the home building industry, and yes, we are down sizing. My boss took me out to eat on Thursay, and asked who he should let go! I was like... ummm... no idea. He told me he wanted to let the other land acquisition mgr go, you see, there are two of us. My boss loves me, yet the other guy is older and more of a sales person type. My boss said one thing but that doesn't really mean any thing, ya know? I could be on my way out!! Yes I know I need to stop thinking now, but I am on a roll, so just let me! :)

Any whooo, I was in the meeting this morning, looking at my boss's face trying to figure out if I was on my way out, and I realize how insane I was acting. Shit, I was actually sitting in my office earlier this morning, thinking about how I would need to sell my town house, file for unemployment, get a job, maybe go back to school, what job should i get, maybe I should go back to computer programming, maybe I should get my Masters in Computer Science... all that bull shit.

Then I realized that this is the insanity that we hear about in the meetings, and that I should do two things. First, stop thinking. Second, call another Alcoholic.

So that is where I am. I am not so scared to call my sponsor, so I will call him. But then I am going to go one more and call a few older men with a lot of time.

Quick update: I am keeping my sponsor Greg. After talking with him and others, I am sticking with him.

Oh, just got off the phone with my sponsor, and yes, I have ceased all thinking... and will say a prayer.

Thanks everyone for reading. I appreciate your strength and hope.
Peace...