Day number 10!

Well folks, thanks again for reading! Today is day number 10! I heard someone share in a meeting about how it wasn't important to her how many days she had, because she only cared about staying sober one day at a time... makes sense, cause every time I think about how I want to be a year sober it overwhelms me and I get all squirly... sooo, today I will focus on staying sober just for today. Once again, I am going to call someone and plan on meeting them for coffee this evening, before the 8:15pm meeting.

New topic: My mom is still living with me... she is getting a divorce, so I let her stay with me. Problem is that I am such a selfish bastard when I am around her... which is usually in the evenings... after meetings... or occassionally for dinner. I get so wrapped up in my head and resentful towards her for being her. You know? She is the type of person who can drink two glasses of wine and stop. I mean this in the nicest way possible but she is extremely selfish, always talking about herself, a gold digger, only cares about money and what others think of her, and has had two face lifts and a boob job... plus she is emotionally dependant on everybody and is completely unhappy unless her life is controlled by someone else... she is a perfect candidate for Al-Anon. She has absolutely no meaningful friendships. I honestly resent everything she stands for, and it bugs the hell out of me.

Anyhow, she lives with me, and every now and then I feel very resentful, and struggle to act like I am enjoying her talking about herself. I have in the past told my sponsor about this, but I don't think he understands my issue as well as some other folks in AA, so I am going to share with you guys, and other friends in the program, as well as my sponsor. Bottom line is that I think she needs to move out... she just got the condo in the divorce process, so she can move asap. But one thing, if she moves, then I lose out on the rent money and then I would have to go find a new roommate... who would probably pay less... on top of that, I fear letting a stranger move in with me. Hell, I fear letting a fellow AA into my home. I am in fear of her staying, her leaving, and the possibility of a new roomy.

Although... I don't really need a roommate to pay the mortgage.. I can get by by my lonesome. Well, I am pretty sure I know what the answer is going to be, but I need to hear someone else tell me, cause I am all in my head about this.

Now, back to work.

Peace...