Day 137
My lord, where does the time go? One of these days I need to stop counting the days.... although I am scared to do so. Is that an OCD thing? Oh well, not a big deal.
Today is a good day at work. I still don't like my job and want to do something different. Big surprise there. I am here, and doing the best that I can with what God gave me. Oh yea! I woke up at freaking 6:00 am this morning and went to Panera for some coffee and the paper. That was nice, but not as uber cool as I had imagined in my dreams... you know, waking up early and going for coffee... it has always been something I dreamed about.... since in the past, getting up early was such a positive experience.
On my way in, I thought about how I felt, and heard things in my head like "the early bird gets the worm" and "Wow, I am not going to be 'waking up' at the office this morning". Well, it has had some effect... although I don't know what. I have accomplished things today, more than usual, but I don't "feel" all that different. Anywhoooo, point is that waking up early is good, it means going to bed earlier... hopefully. Atleast, that is my dream. Although, I have my doubts, as I have gone to bed late ever since like 16 years ago... even minus the alcohol.
Well, now that I am rambling about stuff, it is clear that today is indeed a good day. Did I mention I am looking for a job? That would be nice, a new job that I enjoy, and one that is meaningful. I am willing to take a cut in salary... I am certified to teach math grades 6-12... although I am scared of trying that, as I don't know how well I'd do on that platform in front of a class. Probably fairly well, but still terrified of the prospect. Hence, why I am still here looking for other jobs first. Wow, now I am really rambling. I didn't mean to make this a journal entry, although isn't that what this is all about?? Speaking of, I bought a journal, and have been writing in it at night. I find it fairly relaxing , although I should learn to turn off The Daily Show, before I write in it.
Today I am content, and grateful....
Peace...
There were some things in your ramblings that caught my attention. In the mornings when I awake I don't ask God to get me through this day and I don't try to do the best with what he gave me. I am almost at 6 months sober and I want alot more for myself and from God. My morning prayer went something like this " God thank you for the sleep last night and for the great day ahead, please help me do everything I need to do today and to do more than I need to do today. Thank you for my health, I will eat right and exercise today. I need more out of life than just another content day, I want to to go after every thing you put in front of me and make sure I have everything I want need and deserve.
ReplyDeleteI don't beleive God put me here to be content with life, he wants me to go after and get everything I want.
I am under house arrest, last Sunday I got up and went out on my Patio to drink some Maxwell House (no Panera or Starbucks) It was a beautiful morning and I looked over at my 18 foot plaesure craft and my New P/U truck and thought I should be out on the bay. Then I thought not with this anklet and monitoring box I have to carry around. At that point I realized I was exactly where God wanted me to be. I was not out fishing, skiing or pleasure cruising on the Bay, I was being thankful for all that God has given me. In 4 more weeks after alot more reading, soul searching, gratitude and learning to be a better person, I can go out on the Boat and be grateful for what God has granted me. I don't beleive God created me to be content, he created me to do wonderful things in my life.
Hey Jonathan,
ReplyDeleteI recently went to a Christmas gift exchange, and I got a journal.
As I openned the journal, someone said, "Brad, that's what people used to do before blogs."
Yeah right, as if there were ever a time before blogs!
You sound wonderful Jonathan.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you are counting the days. I think it shows you appreciate them.
ReplyDeleteyou are a teacher!?!
ReplyDeleteI let my fear stop me from so many things---