I had a friend recently ask me to tell them about why I was going to AA and why I thought I was an alcoholic. They initially told me that they had given up drinking and wanted to quit, unsure if they "really" had a problem. Unfortunately, I think that this person probably was a bit turned off by what I had to say.... which was the truth, that if they thought they had a problem, as they described it to me, that they most likely were an alcoholic. However, I emphasized that only they could determine if they really were an alcoholic. I think this person was wanting me to come out and decide for them that they had a problem... but I didn't say so. I just told them my story and related it to their drinking... I found it very hard to say things in such a way that they wouldn't scoff. So I think they scoffed, and that was that. I wanted to tell them how their drinking was worst than mine, and that they in fact were not special, and were among millions of people who have a problem... but I only thought it and did not voice my opinion, leaving them to find their own way.
Seeing someone in such a clear state of denial is very interesting to me, yet sooooo frustrating. I mean, admitting that you are an alcoholic, for me, was almost kind of liberating and I almost felt like I finally figured out at least in one instance, where I belonged in the world.
I play many different roles, work in different jobs, play different sports, and hang out with different people... all roles of which I am not sure if I belong, but I finally discovered one group of people I could totally relate to and feel that I belong: Alcoholics seeking sobriety. Simple isn't it? Not too scary is it? In some aspects in my life, like work, I sometimes wonder what my destiny is and where I am headed, terrified that I may be making or will make the wrong decision. But at least I know I have one thing right. That each day I wake up sober, and clearly understand that I am an alcoholic.
That is so cool!
Today I am grateful for:
My job
My family
My mom
My brother
My sister
My dad
My friends
My kitty cats
My material possessions
My health
My sexy body
Did I just say that?
Hey there, sexy body!!
ReplyDeleteFortunately, I have always known I am an alcoholic. That was my excuse to do everything I did.
Yeah, you did. Oh, well, if ya got it goin' on, ya got it goin' on!
ReplyDeleteWe can't change our friends, or make another person see something they're not ready to deal with. You've done what you can (good 12th stepping there, Jonathan!), and that's really all you can do. Just keep him in your prayers and be available when he's ready to talk again.
I've had people do that to me as well. All I tell them that if they actually have thoughts that they have "a drinking problem" than they probably do. I also say that only they can determine if they are truly an alcoholic.
ReplyDeleteIt was years between starting to think about my drinking may being problematic to deciding to go to AA. With many horrible signs inbetween that I was indeed an alcoholic.
I am now proud and relieved to call myself an alcoholic, because now I can take the steps to resolve my "problem drinking"
So true, you guys rock!
ReplyDeleteWe came and scoffed but remained to pray. That happened to me, and I am glad I stuck with it! I love what you've said here: "I play many different roles, work in different jobs, play different sports, and hang out with different people... all roles of which I am not sure if I belong, but I finally discovered one group of people I could totally relate to and feel that I belong: Alcoholics seeking sobriety. Simple isn't it? Not too scary is it? In some aspects in my life, like work, I sometimes wonder what my destiny is and where I am headed, terrified that I may be making or will make the wrong decision. But at least I know I have one thing right. That each day I wake up sober, and clearly understand that I am an alcoholic."
ReplyDeleteJonathan, thats me, exactly to a tee.... You are exactly where you're supposed to be at this moment, no question about it. Otherwise you'd be somewhere else. You'll figure out who you are and what you're all about the longer you stay sober and get a relationship with HP. HP will reveal more of you to yourself... So, hang tite, enjoy the ride and remember it's a journey, not a destination. Who I am continues to change, grow and evolve (and sometimes deteriorate, but it's patch-able! lol)
I love how you shared with your friends. It sounds like great 12th Step work to me...
peace, my friend!
welcome to some of my world--listening to people in denial about their drinking and drugging
ReplyDeleteIt is very cool! that you wake up sober everyday knowing what is the next right step
and yes, you are very cute!
You are so lucky you know it is denial. We all are
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to say sexy body and know you aren't gonna wake up covered in puke tomorrow huh?
ReplyDelete