Day 55!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM GRAATEFUL!

Today be day number 55 I believe!

Well, I worked the 2nd and 3rd steps and now am moving on to the 4th step. Which is good, because in my big book study, we are actually moving into the 4th step, which is where we will be for a few weeks. so that will be great.

Yesterday my boss called from out of town, and asked me to do something for him. I immediately kinda sorta felt like "Why is he asking me for this... why can't he do it himself, why me???" Those sort of questions.. and I felt like shit the rest of the day, just cause he asked me to do something which I felt over qualified for... and it really through me off. It's like I had all these things I knew I had to do for my job, and then he called and asked for one more thing to be thrown on top of it, and when he did that, I totally shut down. Now all my drive is gone and I don't feel like doing anything. What is up with that? I think this has to do with that roller coaster of sobriety, like how I am on a pink cloud one day and not the next.

I believe that today I don't have to drink, but in the past, these feelings would over come and take me out. I realize that I just need to let it go and let God take care of me. On top of that and more importantly, I need to be of use to others... specifically, my boss. These negative feelings and bad attitude, will pass, and I will be ok!

Tonight I have a coffee commitment, the weather is beautiful and I plan on taking advantage of that! Maybe ride my bike up to the meeting again, I have enjoyed doing that! Maybe I will work out too! Laura wants to hang out tonight, which kinda throws a wrench in "my plan"... so I don't know what to make of it, I told her last night about my alcoholism and she seemed cool with it... maybe I will just ride my bike up to her place too. Well enough of that, I don't need to be worrying about tonight, because it takes away my usefulness right NOW!

Got one more hour to lunch, how about getting some work done?

Laters...