Co-dependence

Happiness and Co-dependence:

I made the mistake of allowing my mother to move back in with me on Sunday, with the understanding that she would be out within a month. Well, naturally she did what she always does, nothing. She came in, and sat down, and waited for me to ask her how she was doing, and then proceeded to wait for me to tell her how to handle her divorce, tell her where she should live, tell her whether to buy or to sell, rent or own, shit or piss, work or not, where to work and all that other bull shit that I don't need to worry about.

I really am annoyed with the fact that my mother can't live her own damn life. I was totally unhappy when I got home last night (after picking up my 30 day chip). I got home, and there she was, in my space. Now, most of the time, this wouldn't be a big deal. But she is totally manic depressive, and acts like a baby. I usually read, play with my cats, watch TV, and just enjoy myself. Last night, I just sat there on the couch... kinda felt like I do when I have a girl over who I am not interested in, and waiting for her to leave. Sooo, around 10:30 I was getting a little pissy, thinking, "Jesus, is she just going to sit on the couch and wait for me to tell her to go to bed?" Sure enough, I said "I am going to bed" and naturally she said "oh me too!" Just as I thought, she was subconsciously waiting for me to tell her when it was ok for her to do something. Totally lame.

But wait! There is a happy ending to this story! I woke up this morning, still shitty that I had once again began "enabling" my mother. I knew this had to end, and she needed a little tough love. I wrote her an email and then called her within an hour of being at work. It went like this: "Mom, you need to either rent a place from someone else, other than me, or move back to one of your two condos. Those are your options, and I would like you to move out asap." There is no in between, no staying with me for 4 months like she did last time. Cut and dry, rent somewhere or go home! You can't sit around in my house feeling sorry for your self and not getting on with your life! I won't allow my serenity to be royally fucked like it was this pass summer. Did I mention that she is wealthy? If I had all the money she had, I would be living on a beach down in the Virgin Islands... Jeeze...

So, she told me today that she was feeling better about going back to her Condo on the beach in Sarasota... and that she would get out of my hair maybe even by today. I am glad I put my foot down. Everyone has told me to do so, and the last time I did not listen. Today is different. I will do what I must even if it is hard.


"I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
(Robert Frost)