I relapsed!!! :) I know that you all are soooo dissapointed in me! Well, honestly, that is another problem of mine, I don't want to tell you I relapsed because I want you to think I am doing well. I care way to much what people think of me. I don't want to tell my sponsor, I don't want to tell my psycologist, I don't want to tell any one, but I am telling you all now, so that maybe it will be easier for me to tell my sponsor and everyone else.
I am sorry, once again, my way has proven to not exactly work! It's funny, I was sitting there at the Tampa Bay Round-Up, and I knew I didn't want to drink, but then I thought "well... I am planning my next drunk, I know I am going to relapse, so I might as well do it tonight so Labor Day can be my new sobriety date!" Seriously, that was what I was thinking. So then, I went and got a bottle, and drank it. Didn't have any fun... pretty much drank and watched tv... then I passed out and felt like shit on Monday. I actually feel great today... but don't let that fool you. I can't stop thinking about how I need to tell my sponsor about this...
Well, this is me being honest. I have two days of sobriety. So do I need to tell my sponsor I relapsed? If you think about it, I am making progress! 1 drunk in 30 days!! Thats not so bad is it?
Peace...
Been there, done that - as you know. You do need to tell your sponsor. Honesty is KEY. It's so good that you're being honest here. Just be honest with the others who need to know, too. And don't beat yourself up. You're trying, and that's what's important, because it shows you really want to stop.
ReplyDelete(((hugs)))
It's all progress and it begins with honesty. Just like I'm reading here.
ReplyDeleteTELL YOUR SPONSOR. Soon. Please.
I have heard stories of people leaving round-ups to go out on benders. One guy died. I am glad you made it back. Tell you sponosr and go to a meeting.
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