Now I am confused!
Talked with alot of people about this Baltimore issue. Naturally you all can figure out what all the AA folks said. Take it easy, pray, relax, no big changes in the first year... all very good stuff which I need to hear.
Then I spilled my guts to my therapist. I wanted to see what he thought about how I have been thinking about this for months now... hell, in November last year, I was going to make the move, but got offered this job, so I stayed.... for the money. My therapist surprisingly was supportive of my thoughts. Being that this is something I have always wanted to do but didn't do because I always relied on others to make my decision for me. For instance: my job. I don't want to quit because it's easier if I just go layed off!
Another tangent, and something I should not obsess over but will anyhow because that's what we do! I was shooting emails around this morning and one of the ladies in the office who got layed off recently returned my email, (I asked her if I could use her as a referance, she has been very supportive and could see how unhappy I was before she left) she said she had "heard" that there is another round of layoffs coming in October! That's the end of our fiscal year so now I am thinking my job could still be on the line. After thinking about it, I could see how my position could be expendable... in which case, I am going to B-town anyways...
Well, not so fast! What I have decided to do after talking with countless people, is to find a job teaching in Baltimore. Once I get said job, I will pack up the car and leave... Pretty simple really. Don't leave a job without having a new one in place. But this happening over night is nuts... will probably take time. So I will relax and see what my options are and stop obsessing over this. If I can't get work up there, no big deal. Stay here. If I get fired, no big deal... no sense in worrying about that or anything.
Pray and let let God
Peace....
Step 3.
ReplyDeleteWhat dAAve said.
ReplyDeleteexactly, no sense worrying... you're doing the legwork, asking around, getting your options figured out... getting a plan in place, now just enjoy your day, keep doin what you're doing and HP will work things out the way they are supposed to be worked out. It's great and necessary to make a plan, but impossible and fruitless to plan the outcome (which includes worrying about it!)
ReplyDeletepeace, man!
Step Three and Step Eleven
ReplyDeleteRoger that! I realized I am still only 12 days sober and most of this is just BS in my mind. Like my friend Jeff says: "God I pray that you give me your knowledge and remove the BS from my life"
ReplyDeleteJonathan