Day 164!

Day 164!

Last night my ex-girlfriend called me up, and asked that I be her date to some golf-function-fund-raiser-thingy. Apparently, she couldn't find anyone else, so she called me! I haven't seen her since sobering up, so it was a good experience. We danced, or she danced and I kinda sorta shook my head, we ate food, and I dropped $300 on a Payne Stewart momento plaque thinga-ma-jig.

Plus, my feet were just killing me by the end of the night. I was glad to go home and go to sleep.

So, yea, we are still friends, she is still the same as am I to a point... Sometimes I wonder if we could have another go at it, but I kinda feel like I am not ready for that, as I know she would be pretty serious. Anyhow, we will stay friends for now, and I won't even try to make it any more than that. I am so fortunate to still be friends with her! Such a nice person she is!

Today is Valentine's Day. I am not too excited about it, but the weather outside is simply fabulous... so I am going to have to enjoy it once I get out this hellish labyrinth also known as "my office". Can you tell I still don't like the job? I bring it up more for me than you... to remember how I feel and write it down. Yesterday my boss was trying to explain how I can better do my job, and he actually said "I am not supposed to work, I don't do anything... you should do all my work for me and read my mind." Seriously, he said he wasn't supposed to actually do any work. He asked me for some utility fee numbers, which I gave him... then proceeded to tell me how he actually wanted me to count up the numbers and do some simple math, and then send it to him. Oh well, sorry guy, my fault mista masta! Geeze, what an ass, if you want the numbers added, cause your too lazy to do it, just ask please!

Furthermore, I think I may need to sit down with him and discuss my role here. I feel like they are asking me to do two separate jobs, which really prevents me from doing a good job at either. Not sure how to broach that subject... but I think it may help to actually sit down and talk with my boss about what he wants me to do... it seems like he wants a bazillion things, but changes goals and deadlines all the time. Driving me nuts... and driving my motivation into the muck.

One problem with that is, they may view it as me not wanting to work, and proceed to firing me. That would be simply be icing on the cake. Oh well, I really want to feel motivated, I pray all the time about it, and actually this morning felt pretty good in a meeting. I spoke up and acted the part. But, my motivation hit the rocks soon after. Hmm, interesting, very hard to live in the moment...

Regardless, today is a beautiful day!

Peace!!