Day 198 of continuous sobriety!!! ;)
I am so happy about that! Man, just hanging out at the office... and I mean barely hanging on... it is so hard to be here knowing that my boss is giving me my two weeks notice on Friday!
I feel depressed, despondant, and just feel like a failure! Yea, so that's how I feel. So what did I do about; I called my sponsor, I called another friend, I posted here, and I am reading out of one of my books.
But I still feel pretty shitty! I know that in the evening, when I can get to a meeting, I feel great. But every second of being here is just plain aweful. So yea, that's how I feel about that. It's like every day I feel wonderful when I finally get home... but when I am here... oh it sucks big time!
Ok, besides all that, more applying to jobs, and talking to people about me and my life. New idea - What about going back to school for my MBA?? I could focus in on Finance and International Business... two subjects I am interested in... My mom said she would put me through school... and I can work part time while doing it, and get it done in 2 years. Just a thought, my friend Ted is going back in the fall. I think that is where I got the idea.
I think in terms of jobs it would allow me to work towards something I enjoy, but I'd have to really go all out if I do it.
Any how.. just talked to my Dad, and wanted to make a note of it. He told me to check out his company's website and use him as a reference! Never thought of that! So I did, and even found a position "gasp!" I am qualified for! Who knows! Just another lead... time to turn it all over!
So peace folks, and thanks for listening to my ranting and raving!
Jonathan
Cool. you're just doin' life Jonathan! it has its ups, it has its downs, and we never really figure it out! Just do your lousy best! Think about what you can do for others and your higher power will help things along..
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