Had a pretty good weekend considering.

I keep wondering about happiness and everything going on in my life, what makes me feel negative or have bad feelings.  It is weird ya know, I think a lot of parental guilt... just thinking of the kids and beating myself up thinking I am not doing this parenting thing perfectly... when rationally that is insane, I really do tons for the kids and with the kids, my wife even tells me so, so I know compared to other parents I am pretty dang involved.... but its weird.  If I see a picture of them, I miss them, I miss their younger selves... those memories...

Reading an interesting book, something about how to have courage to let people dislike you or something, very eastern philosphy sort of Adlerian. 

Any who, it's a slog.  I prefer the Art of Happiness to be honest, easier to digest.  But I will keep trying.

I'm in a weird spot, feel weird.  Not sure if its because I quit my lexapro... I think it is, but fuck that I'm not going back.  Let's see if this weirdness improves.  

Been sober for 18 years, so that is great.

Kids are doing amazeballs.

Wife is doing great.

3rd baby is coming in a month.

Work is pretty good.

Worse case scenarios are all manageable... Donald Trump is president (that sucks) like seriously wtf is this shit show of the Country thinking to elect that man again?  Who knows... I worry about the world, he could really ruin things for everyone on the planet!!

Ah, anyhow, back to reading the Art of Happiness!