What it means to be a friend

It means not to be deceitful, it means to not ignore them, it means to just show up once in a while. It means to not be hateful... it does not mean to completely disappear. It means to be sincere and to not be selfish. It means not to reject them. That is what it means to me...

When people act negatively in this regard, I usually take it in passing.. but when a friend suddenly acts differently... and treats you as if you are some other Joe... that hurts. That hurts my feelings. It makes me feel rejected. It hurts. Let me say it again, and let me emphasize the word "HURTS". That indicates pain, real emotional pain. It hurts... It hurts my very sole, or ego, whatever... friends don't suddenly act different towards their friends. If you do, and you don't tell them why, then you are hurting them! It is emotional pain... it hurts... It really does.... as occured in the past recently when I figured out after a while.. (I am dense) that I was being treated less then ideally.

So I looked at that, and decided to get over it. What do you do to get over it? The rejection of me by someone else is by no means an assult on my perona or person. It is merely that person making the decision that they no longer want to be in my life in that capacity. At first, that's not what it feels like! Naturally it has taken some time, but I feel like I am getting over the loss. That is what it is to me... a loss. I didn't make the choice, it was made for me and the actions made were clear indicators.

As I was saying. The rejection of me does not diminish me. I am still me! Some people do like me for me and do not have ANY expectations outside of me staying sober and present...

Random post tonight

Yall can figure it out, had to get it off my chest.

Jonathan