Heya Folks!

Ok, so I quit the job.

I was sitting there at my desk and was reflecting on things, and just made the decision to get up and walk out. The boss was not there, so I sent him an email telling him thanks for the opportunity but it wasn't the right fit for me. And that's that.

I have looked at my finances and everything is kosher there, no worries or anything. My mom has offered to help me through the next few months or years even if need be, but I will strive, to the best of my ability, to pay my way.

I have talked to some friends who are in the social work field, and will be applying to various rehab centers to do some volunteer work or even a part time job, while also taking classes at a local university to help find my way.

I initially got into the real estate world due to my inate ability to do what others wanted me to do. I am striking out on my own now, and I am going to find something I feel is more in tune with my life and what I want out of my life. I don't think this is so much me taking control, but more like aligning my will to God's will.

I think my HP wants me to be of service to others at this time in my life. I think that I am happiest when I am helping others or doing service work, so my search begins there. I will initially focus on social work, and helping other addicts and alcoholics..in recovery... and from there, who knows. Life is to short to not take chances, so here I go!

I will let you all know how this new experiment goes. First step, sign up for courses and apply to a local Acohol and Drug rehab facility!

Jonathan

1.5 months to a year!

Almost there folks!!

Anyhow, straight to what's bugging me. I have this job, they work 11 hour days... mostly what I like to call face time. I go in at 8 in the morn and leave at 7 at night. I do not like that. I also have always pretty much resented the business we are in... real estate development.

So I have those two things I am grappling with. The resentment thing isn't too big a deal, I can get through that... but it amplifies in my mind when I am forced to sit in an office almost 12 hours a day. I don't like working crazy hours like that... I just don't think it is nessaccary. Another thing, from the get go, I was kinda luke warm on even taking this job to begin with.

I just fear that the hours are getting to me and I want to quit. Last Friday I nearly lost my cool after work... totally just spent, and very stressed. Not too serene. Any how, I feel like I keep taking these jobs I hate because I am in fear of financial security. I think I should quit and try to do something else... I know this sounds like I am giving up... but come on! The freaking hours alone make my hourly wage equal to my previous job, one I almost kinda like!

So work long hours in a job I already resent, or take the plung and try to do something new??? I am going to work tomorrow, and we shall see what happens. Fear is keeping me there at the moment, also I am trying to make this work, but I don't think I can take much more of working 24/7.

Wish me luck, I am just throwing out what's been on my mind. I have been talking with my sponsor and every other person I come across in the program. The answer seems to be leaning toward "go back to school".

My sobriety alone is at risk here, I feel like I am about to melt down with regard to the job choice I made... feel like I took it for the same damn reason I have chided myself in the past for: Big job, big money, ego, and fear of letting OTHER people down...

Man, anyhow, we will let you know what happens!

Peace

New Job

So yea, I got the job I interviewed for last week!

Crazy shit man, any how, this is a grande opportunity and I feel a bit overwhelmed. My friends are telling me to just give it a shot, but I feel a bit out of sorts, the firm is all in to financial modeling and analysis, basically something I want to try. Problem is, I am not a financial wiz.

They have been helpful, and I will try my best to do a good job.

Lately my thoughts have been all over the place, sell the house, go back to school, move to Alaska, crazy stuff. I went to two meetings today, and hung out with friends all day, had coffee at the buck and basically came home. It seems that I am just in fear with the new job, but I also can't help but think that the business world is not for me... you know, the corporate sit behing the desk type of jobs... ya know what I mean??? I have never been happy in any office job, and I am wondering if I should go back to schoool and study for something I am interested in... science.

Pretty broad topic, but I was thinking psychology or something like that... maybe I am crazy, but I was thinking that if this job doesn't work out, I am going to go back to school for a year and study all of the med-school prereqs. Perhaps this is just another crazy alcoholic thought, perhaps not... I have the means to go do this thing, I know my mom would support me, why not just do it???

Thoughts folks?

Peace...