Day number 73 I think!
Um, so does anyone else think they have ADD? I was sitting around last night, after my meeting, at home watching TV and think I may have realized something huge. Well, not so huge as it is an annoyance, but I think I have ADD. I am not trying to self diagnose my self, and am not looking for medicine or anything, just an "underlying suspicion".
It's like, whenever I am doing something, I think about doing something else. Whatever project I decide to work on, or whatever thing I read or study, I think about what else I want to study or read. At night, this particularly bugs me. It's like there are all these things I want to do, and want to do it now. I have 3 or 4 books I am kinda sorta reading, 3 magazines I pick up every once in a while, 2 news papers I try to read at lunch, computer games I'd like to play, Playstation games I'd like to play, and TV I'd like to watch. And naturally, AA meetings and friends I want to hang out with.
Last night I was watching TV, but couldn't decide on wether I should read, play PS2, go to bed, begin to write a novel (ok, this is new for me, but have been thinking about it) or watch the boob tube. It bugged me until I finally went sleepy.
During the day sometimes, I think about what I'd like to do with my life in general. I get all sorts of crazy ideas like; move to Baltimore, move to Indiana, move to Alaska, move somewhere, work as a teacher, work as a garbage man, work in a park, go back to school for finance, go back to school for computers, go back to school for history... all sorts of weird fantasies... This is pretty much my internal going ons... and it feels like maybe I need to let most of it go, and focus on AA. Are these thoughts normal? Did drinking supress all these ideas? What do I do about them? How do I focus on one thing, one goal? Well, these are just rantings and ravings. I am pretty sure the answer is to focus on staying sober one day at a time, and getting involved in AA.
Any thoughts on the ADD, can't seem to stick to one past time thing... would be much appreciated.
Laters!!
Go to a meeting.
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My husband, my best buddy and one of my sponsees all are in program and all have ADD or ADHD. There are cognative treatment and their is even an non addictive medication now. Keep going to meeting, stay in touch with you sponsor and check out your options.
ReplyDeleteMany of us in the rooms, I think, have ADD. I know I do and was diagnosed and offered medication, which I took one day and stopped talking. I've learned to live with it better mainly by trying to organize things and by reading many of the good books on ADD. I think when we're kids and we're continually bouncing off the walls in school (if this was your MO), it set us up to be shunted into the "difficult" route. Add in my case Catholic school and being female on top of it, and it was a setup for low self esteem, which quickly helped me to hang out with the losers as I got into my teens. Don't trip, just read up on it. There's web sites and books with lots of good management techniques. I have moved about 8 times in recovery and can't stand a job longer than 3 1/2 years. That's my nature and I'm trying to work around that now. Good luck.
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