CAbo San Lucas

Well, I went on vacation to Cabo San Lucas, and remained sober the entire time. Then, when I got home, I fealt completly loss and almost as if my soul had been sucked out of my very skin. Well, actually, it was more of a process then just "bamm!" It was more like, over time, in Cabo, with my mother... I slowly lost it. By the time I got home, I was so messed up in the head I had no hope left. Sunday, I could have gone to a meeting. But, it was raining, and I was pissed off at the world... or not really. I am trying to remember my feelings... but I can't. I just remember feeling like i didn't want to work, that maybe there was something better some where, all the typical stuff that comes out after being away from AA for a week. So, I drank. Then I woke up, went to work, relaxed Monday night, and Tuesday. I was way in my head yesterday and Monday too. As I am almost right now, but less so.
Tuesday I started feeling sick... sore throat, sore neck. I got some nyquil and some emergen-C... and hopefully I will be feeling better. But as far as the hopelessness goes, and depression. I think that has been lifted from me this morning. I no longer am thinking about quitting my job... it's as if that prayer book answered my prayers this morning... something about being average and being happy about it... since we are all average and the program is about spiritual progress rather than perfection..
This made me feel good because I know I have made a whole lot of spiritual progress... even if I continue to have lapses.
Peace